pickle juice can be painful and i'm too tired to celebrate holidays.

i know we're two weeks in, but i have a confession: i did nothing for april fools. which reminds me- i also did nothing for saint patrick's day, and next to nothing for valentines day. how many holidays do you get to ignore before you become dead inside?

a week or so ago, i was offered a job. i considered it, and then decided against it. i think i made the right choice, but i'm not positive. i keep going back and forth on whether i should be working right now. will it ever feel right? who am i?!

my teeth have been hurting the past few days, and right before i was going to call the dentist (a huge deal for me) i did some online digging and realized it's because i was craving baby dill pickles, and decided to eat an entire jar in 42 hours. hashtag reasons you shouldn't grocery shop while hungry. i stopped eating the pickles and the sensitivity eventually went away.

i've been in a bad slump the past week or two. becoming a mother has given me so much more empathy for those who struggle with depression; particularly postpartum. it's harder than i thought it would be. and i expected it to suck.

it's weird how i can be at the same weight i was before i had teddy, and still have none of my clothes fitting the same way they did before. how does that work? i super don't like it.

teddy is at a sweet stage where anytime i'm eating or drinking anything, he'll excitedly crawl over to me, put his hands on my lap, and look up at me with big eyes and literally drool expectantly while he pants excitedly. i'm not going to share all of the things i've given him, because i'm not really in the mood to be judged today, but you'd give your baby anything if he looked at you like that too.

he's slept 8 or more hours at a time the past three nights (thank you, dockatot!). i'm deliriously happy about it, and also afraid to get used to it. what would life with normal sleep be like?

we are going to salt lake to do a video project and visit a friend's new baby in a few weeks, and i'm really looking forward to it. i miss those mountains. (okay, and the shopping by the mountains...)

gideon and i discovered a show on netflix that makes us both laugh until we cry: tiny house hunters (regular sized people looking for tiny houses-- not to be confused with tiny people looking for regular sized houses...) i'm not sure why we laugh so hard, but it's good for both of our hearts. look it up, friends. you won't regret it. xo

teddy's blanket