lately.

i lost him 2 weeks ago for the first time. (#unfitparent) in the middle of church, a friend of mine asked if she could borrow a wipe, and in the time it took me to reach over, grab the case from my diaper bag, and hand it to her, teddy had managed to slip past both my friend and i without notice. i had no idea where he was for maybe 15 seconds, and even though i never got truly worried, it was a sobering reminder of how quickly he could disappear. he'd taken a stroll down the hall, following the sound of gideon's laugh. (those of you who know gid know what a recognizable laugh he has- it's deep and hearty. teddy knew just where to go to find him.) ps- anyone bought those squeaky shoes to keep track of where your baby is? i'm in the market...

we bought a kitchen table small enough to fit in our little home. i love it so much. we painted the trim a few days ago, and this week we're finishing the walls, which is making me glow. i was showing my grandma pictures from our remodel and she told me with a soft smile that our home reminded her of the house she grew up in, which made me so so happy for some reason.

in preparation for our move, i decided to purge my closet of things i don't wear anymore and discovered that since teddy's birth (14 months ago) i've only purchased four dresses and two tops. you guys, that's nuts. it made me realize how little i need.

i'm starting to accept that he's becoming more a little boy than he is a baby. his hair is lightening and beginning to curl. his voice is gaining clarity, and his little laughs are the highlight of my day. i love being able to play with him more directly. i love tickling him, growling back and forth with him, and throwing balls back and forth to each other. (which reminds me- don't forget about the giveaway in the last post!)

we watched the debate a few nights ago, and it just left me feeling really uneasy and scared about the upcoming election. how did we get here?

is it too early to be buying christmas pajamas for your baby? cuz i'm buyin' all of them this week. how many pairs of pjs are too much for a 14 month old?

teaching is still stressing me out. if i could just get through today, that'd be greaattttt.
xo

a giveaway with eeboo!

hi. 

it's tuesday, and i really want it to be friday. 

i've never looked forward to weekends as much as i do as a mother, which is weird, since moms don't get weekend breaks from their kids. i thought when i stopped working full time that weekdays and weekends would feel the same. they don't right?! sigh.

hey let's do a giveaway to get us through this tuesday.

ever since teddy could grasp objects in his hands, he's been into waving (more like thrashing actually) his toys around, which is cute, but can easily turn into a really sad day when he drops them on his face, or they're hard or pointy. a few weeks ago while we were in dc, teddy was chewing on one of his favorite airplane toys, and after an excited jab, he scratched the inside of his mouth. so sad.

one of teddy's favorite toys right now is the noisy ball from eeboo, a thoughtful children's toy and gift company located in the heart of nyc. it's a soft, plush ball that has a soft chiming noise it makes when it's moves. (not obnoxious- and you guys know how picky i am about toys and their noises!)

the noisy ball's design is a traditional folk form toy. it has bright friendly colors, and crinkles and squeaks in a few little spots, which is extra fun to discover for little ones. it's shape is perfect for small hands, and i can personally attest that it's teddysafe (which means you can shove your face into it thousands of times without harming yourself.)

teddy's fav game right now is throwing it up the stairs and watching it bound back down towards him, or having one of us stand below the stairs while he throws it down to us and waits for us to throw it back up to him. 

do i sound like a bad mom when i say it's nice knowing i can throw it at his face and that it won't hurt him? mamma relief.

eeboo is being super generous and is sending TWO readers this sweet and fun toy!

to enter this giveaway, give their site a little visit, and shoot me a comment below telling me something that's putting you in a good mood today, k?

*as always, following me on facebook or instagram gets you more entires.*

thanks to eeboo for sponsoring this giveaway.

i hope you have a good rest of your day, friends.
xo

on being patient.

i don't know how people seem to handle their lives so gracefully. do i seem graceful? ugh, social media is such a lie. if i ever look like i have even a little of my shiz together- don't believe it for a moment.

i'm homesick. not so much for texas (i mean, a little...) but more for our home that we haven't moved into. every week that goes by makes me miss it more. i want to make leaf piles, and take naps in the backyard. i want to fill it with tiny giggles and games of hide and seek. i want to make lemonade in june, and bake a pie during november (just one time- i'm not martha stewart over here.) i want to hang white curtains on every window, and leave them open so the breeze can flow through the tiny space while i glide on the wood floors wearing oversized t shirts and no pants (because pants are the worst). i want to wear slippers on the kitchen tile that i know will be cold during the winter months. i want to hang a garland over the fireplace and play the charlie brown christmas soundtrack. it's so hard to be patient.

teddy has graduated from walking to a confident pre- run trot. there are little bruises all over those chubby legs which bums me out and makes me proud. he's started to lean his head on me multiple times during the day. it's crazy how this tiny person who i've known for such a short amount of time commands my heart and attention.

the leaves outside our apartment windows are changing slowly, and it makes me nostalgic for this time last year, when teddy would just rest his head on my chest and gaze outside with wide calm eyes. i need to remember that thing people say about the days being long and the years being short. i feel like any moment he's going to run out the door and not need me at all.

the house is coming slow and sure. teddy and i visited today, and now there's tiny footprints and fingerprints all over the dusty floors. painting is happening soon which is one of the last hurdles before move in day. (of course, we still have to wait for the cabinets to be delivered, then the countertops, the sink (thank you britt), the vanity, the toilet, all the fixtures, and all the appliances. (but appliance stuff seems like you just have to buy it and install it, right? sigh.)

i hope we move in by halloween.
if not halloween, maybe thanksgiving.
and if not thanksgiving, maybe christmas.

i hope your friday is good.
xo

today.

2:30 a.m.
why is he awake? is it gas? is it his gums again?? is he teething? i feel gideon leave the bed to calm him down with a bit of milk, and make a mental note that next time it's my turn to get up in the middle of the night. i struggle to slip back into sleep.

5:30 a.m.
whispers. growls. giggles. how is he up again?! i'm convinced i haven't really slept since i heard him in the middle of the night. i hear gideon chuckle as he and teddy start a conversation about how the night went, and what adventures will happen during their morning time together. at this point in the day, i'm especially grateful for a early bird husband. i feel like my best sleep happens between 4-7 in the morning. i start thinking about how i should take that z-quill i bought a few weeks ago.

7:00 a.m.
i feel like i got 4 hours of sleep. my skin feels dry as i wipe the sleep from my eyes. i walk into the bathroom to find gideon getting ready for work, and teddy gleefully mimicking him shaving his face. teddy is thrilled to see me. he giggles, and shows me his toothbrush before going to pick up his favorite book of the day.

7:15 a.m.
gideon gives us kisses goodbye. teddy is devastated when he leaves and cries for 10 minutes. the only thing that calms him down is watching a video from our recent trip to dc.

noon
he's exhausted. i've failed putting him to sleep three times, and i'm really hoping the fourth time is the charm. so far today we've eaten toast, orange juice, and a handful of grapes. we settle down with 5 books. he enjoys a bottle of milk. i rock him for 30 minutes. finally. silence.
(he sleeps for less than an hour.)

i spend his nap cleaning up a bit, face-timing with my mom, eating more grapes, and online window shopping for things for our home (that i can't afford...)

1:35 p.m.
gid sends me a text message asking how i'm doing and reminding me that he loves me. i think how lucky i am to have a partner that not only gets up with a crying baby in the middle of the night, but also goes out of his way to make me feel valued and appreciated.

2:00 p.m.
we visit the park, and marvel at the big trucks, the lawn mowers, and the airplanes. he manages to become covered in grass, mud, and sand.

3:00 p.m.
i visit a charming local toy shop in beautiful hyde park, because i have no self control and felt like my baby needed a tractor toy. teddy is obsessed with it. i feel really good about how happy it makes him, and try to remind myself that buying things doesn't equal happiness all of the time.

as i walk on the sidewalk to the car, sweet babbles come from the baby on my hip, leaves fall slowly around us, and for a second i feel like my life is really awesome. i'm so happy we live here.

4:30 p.m.
his eyes are heavy from our time outside. it takes less than 10 minutes for me to get him down for his second nap. man, i love it when that happens.

5:00 p.m.
i realize that dinner hasn't even been on my radar (and i promised myself i was going to be awesome today!) i pull up easy recipes on buzzfeed and end up also checking my personal email, my work email, facebook, and instagram. i still don't know what i'm making.

5:45 p.m.
i hear the key in the lock, and give gid a big kiss and hug to welcome him home before telling him that i'm sorry for not having dinner ready. he smiles and shrugs as if to say, "who cares? i'm just glad to not be at work!" i fall silently in love with him again. he could've married girls who'd have a perfect dinner ready for him every evening, and he still chose me. we end up making a delicious meal with broccoli and beef on top of rice with (you guessed it!) grapes on the side.

7:00 p.m.
we take a walk. gideon and teddy throw stones in the river until both their hands are covered in mud. teddy makes quacking sounds at the ducks, barking sounds at the dogs, and growls deeply and seriously at the stone owl we pass on our way back from the greenbelt. older couples taking walks wave to teddy and are thrilled when he waves to them. i love where we live so much.

8:15 p.m.
the sun is going down earlier now, and it's making me miss summer nights. we draw a warm bath, and teddy happily splashes, playing with his submarine toy, his duck, and the five trucks that he's managed to convince me need to join him in the bath. while i'm in the middle of a conversation with gideon, teddy manages to fill a plastic bowl with water, and pour it outside of the tub. i gasp, and gideon laughs. he's asleep a little after nine.

9:20 p.m.
gid and i talk about our days, the house, and things about teddy. he makes me want to be better than i am. he gets a snack (cereal), and i get chips and salsa. gid asks me if i'd like him to make a milkshake, and because i love his milkshakes more than i enjoy looking at the scale, i agree enthusiastically. we look at old pictures of our baby on our phones because we're crazy about him, and then we watch an episode of parks and rec. (i only laugh because gid is laughing so hard.)

10:30 p.m.
we snuggle into bed. i stare at the ceiling, and silently pray for a good nights sleep for us all, and maybe for a million dollars.

xo

a quick trip to dc (with a video!)

we tagged along with one of gid's work conferences in dc last week, which reminded me of how much i love traveling, and also how doing so will never be the same with kids. teddy was a champ, and for the most part kept a happy face, but i could tell he missed being home with his familiar things. such a little homebody.

we've both been battling sickness this week, so i'm stepping away from social media to focus on getting us healthy again, but i wanted to share this short video that i made with my phone (chose not to lug the camera around on this trip). sweet memories for us to look back on.

i hope you have a good week, friends.
xo

our stroller

teddy's rainy cloud shirt

teddy's bottoms

teddy's mocs