today, i feel like we'll never really be moved in. we've been here for almost a month, and it's still a mess. i still haven't had our specialty doorknobs installed, which makes me laugh and then sigh sadly. we haven't finished the hardware on our cabinets. our dishwasher and clothes dryer haven't been properly installed because of hiccups here and there, and i'm starting to wonder if the backsplash in our bathroom and the kitchen will ever happen. the problem is- we moved, but our lives didn't go on hold. we're both still working, and dealing with schedules, and deadlines, and any non essential task went straight to the back burner. and man, unpacking is like the most dangerous game ever-- talk about one step forward, three thousand steps back. where do i put my weird shoeboxes full of craft things? and why do i have so much yarn? i don't knit, guys- seriously, why do i have any yarn????
today in a dismal effort to distract myself from online shopping, i looked at plane tickets to places all over the world and it was just a really really bad idea. (there are tickets from boise to london right now for less than $650 round trip. byeeeeee.)
today i'm wondering how it's possible that our laptop and car haven't had any problems for the last almost decade, and yet they both managed to die within a week of each other right after we moved and have no money. when it rains it pours, i guess. things are expensive. i think that's why i've been so bad at writing on here lately-- i usually write in the covers of my bed on the laptop. sitting down at a desktop is so much more commitment for some reason. i could write all day from the comfort of my bed. i wrote my entire thesis wrapped in blankets.
today i'm determined to unpack the stacked suitcases and boxes labeled "other clothes" that have been shoved in my closet for the past 3 weeks. not looking forward to it.
today i feel quiet, heartbroken, and helpless about aleppo. these are mothers, fathers, sons and daughters being trapped and hunted, and it feels like no one is doing anything.
today i love having hardwood floors that let me hear the pitter patter of tiny feet running through our home excitedly. i'm grateful for the way he adores me lately; the way he leans his head on my leg and kisses my knee gently for no reason before running away with those same little pitter patters. i love him so much.
today i'm grateful for this creaky, tiny, old home (even if it doesn't have doorknobs just yet). i'm grateful that the car and laptop breaking down was just annoying, and not debilitating to our budget. i'm grateful for a healthy rascal of a boy. i'm grateful for freedom. for safety. i'm grateful for hide and seek and peek a boo. i'm grateful for facetime, and for best friends. i'm grateful for the snow that's falling outside, and the blankets that keep us warm. i'm grateful for the gold lights on the tree in our corner, and for a season that feels magical regardless of the beliefs you hold onto.
happy wednesday. i'm going to try to go unpack.
xo
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