on being patient.

i don't know how people seem to handle their lives so gracefully. do i seem graceful? ugh, social media is such a lie. if i ever look like i have even a little of my shiz together- don't believe it for a moment.

i'm homesick. not so much for texas (i mean, a little...) but more for our home that we haven't moved into. every week that goes by makes me miss it more. i want to make leaf piles, and take naps in the backyard. i want to fill it with tiny giggles and games of hide and seek. i want to make lemonade in june, and bake a pie during november (just one time- i'm not martha stewart over here.) i want to hang white curtains on every window, and leave them open so the breeze can flow through the tiny space while i glide on the wood floors wearing oversized t shirts and no pants (because pants are the worst). i want to wear slippers on the kitchen tile that i know will be cold during the winter months. i want to hang a garland over the fireplace and play the charlie brown christmas soundtrack. it's so hard to be patient.

teddy has graduated from walking to a confident pre- run trot. there are little bruises all over those chubby legs which bums me out and makes me proud. he's started to lean his head on me multiple times during the day. it's crazy how this tiny person who i've known for such a short amount of time commands my heart and attention.

the leaves outside our apartment windows are changing slowly, and it makes me nostalgic for this time last year, when teddy would just rest his head on my chest and gaze outside with wide calm eyes. i need to remember that thing people say about the days being long and the years being short. i feel like any moment he's going to run out the door and not need me at all.

the house is coming slow and sure. teddy and i visited today, and now there's tiny footprints and fingerprints all over the dusty floors. painting is happening soon which is one of the last hurdles before move in day. (of course, we still have to wait for the cabinets to be delivered, then the countertops, the sink (thank you britt), the vanity, the toilet, all the fixtures, and all the appliances. (but appliance stuff seems like you just have to buy it and install it, right? sigh.)

i hope we move in by halloween.
if not halloween, maybe thanksgiving.
and if not thanksgiving, maybe christmas.

i hope your friday is good.
xo

dear teddy,

i'm not an early bird mama. so we're extra lucky to have your dad- who wakes up with the sun, and quietly takes you out of our room as soon as you've gotten up, so the two of you can play upstairs in the soft morning light, and i can catch up on extra luxurious, bed-to-myself sleep. 

i can tell by your excited giggles and shrieks that you love this one on one time with gid. i can tell he's your favorite person on the face of the planet. i get it. he's pretty great.

and this morning, when i couldn't fall back asleep, i decided to sneak up to your play spot and snap a few pictures so we remember your morning father-son ritual. so we remember your fuzzy sleep hair, and the way your eyes catch morning light.

i'm trying to be better about being a morning mama. but for now, you and papa bear keep having a ball while i sleep in, k?
xo

papa bear.

dear teddy,

you're a lucky little bear. i was going through some old pictures from christmas, and i found a few pictures and clips of you and your dad playing at grandma's house. i don't know how i got such a handsome husband, and you got such an adoring father, but he's all ours and i'm so glad.

this footage was before you were army crawling everywhere, and drooling at any and every piece of solid food in our house. this was when you still fit into 6-9 month outfits (barely), and were still stingy with giving laughs. you're growing so fast, and are so desperate to discover the world, and as happy as that makes me, (because seriously you're going to love it when i introduce you to things like trampolines and puppies) part of me will always hold onto memories like these, when you were small enough to fit in our arms, and 3 ounces of milk was enough to fill your little tummy. 

keep growing, because that's normal and healthy, and i don't want to be a
mom who isn't happy that her baby is moving forward, instead of staying put. 

but take your time, little guy. consider it? xo