ten things i haven't been able to do that i thought i'd be able to do as a new mom

1. finish "yes please" by amy poheler. guys. i started this book in may of last year, and i try to read during nap time in the afternoons, and on road trips. i'm almost half done. i read "bossypants" in six hours pre-teddy. how do people go to college (or grad school!!) with children??

2. flush without hesitating. it seems like the only time i get to use the restroom is when teddy is sleeping, and i always just shut the lid in fear of waking him. i need to be careful, though. i was in the airport the other day and almost didn't flush out of habit...

3. make my bed. wash my hair. lets just say "clean" to keep the list from going out of control.

4. nurse. this one makes me so sad still. the other morning i tried to nurse teddy and he looked at me like it was a funny joke.

5. drive without being a paranoid nutcase. when i see anything in my peripheral in the parking lot, i'm always convinced it's a stroller with a baby in it, and i slam on the breaks. usually it's nothing.

6. find fulfillment on a regular basis. i feel awful admitting this. but there are a lot of days that i'm like, "this is not as sweet as the baby tylenol commercials told me it would be..." and then teddy starts mimicking noises i make and i'm all like, "look at my cute baby and he's a genius and so darling and no baby will ever compare..."

7. take teddy on daily runs on the greenbelt (hahahahahahahahaha)

8. date gid (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

9. successfully plan and prepare meals. seriously, how do you mammas do it? when i visit my sister, every meal looks like a foodie's vacation home in the hamptons (she uses pretty serve wear and pitchers! ain't nobody got time for that!!) i'm lucky if i throw a few ingredients in the crock pot and they're done by dinner time.



10. let teddy out of my sight with someone other than gid without getting antsy. i had a 20 minute dentist appointment last week and i was going nuts, you guys. ("can you guys polish any faster?? my baby is at home...")

there's more. but these were the first ten things that came to mind.
tonight is girls night. tomorrow is friday. i can do this.
xo