I hate looking at my "planner" just to discover that I have about 2% of my responsibilities actually accounted for in writing. The rest I have to try to remember, and I hate that.
I hate feeling hopeless about the possibility that maybe one day, I'll have it all together. (Pshhhhh)I hate when I zone out during important conversations because I'm trying to remember all of the things that I'm trying to juggle.
And oooohh- I hate it when I inevitably fall a little short on one of those things. (Or feel like I'm about to, even though I don't know what it is exactly.)
I hate spazzing out in front of my husband and blubbering on about how I don't think I'm going to make it. (What does that even mean? Not going to make what? Make it to the end of the week? Make a cake? What is it that I'm not going to make? And why am I acting like a bomb will spontaneously explode if I don't make whatever it is?) I guess I just hate when I act like a prima-donna just because I'm tired and hungry.
...I hate that I've been in the same leotard since 7:45 this morning, and still haven't showered like a normal human being.
I hate feeling chubby.
Which reminds me: I hate ballet tights.
...did I mention the semester started this week?
ps- Things I love today: the text my mom sent me, the picture my sister sent me, the video my other sister sent me, laughing, dancing, sweating, eating, and finally taking off my leotard/showering. (Well- I'm about to shower. And I promise, I'm going to love it.)
So Alyssa. I sort of blog-stalk you, and I think you're pretty incredible. You'll make it, whatever it is.
ReplyDeleteI vote for making the cake.
ReplyDelete