stargirl

some of you know me.

and because you know me, you know I'm somewhat of a grouchy pants.

(you're probably thinking, "...somewhat??"

Gideon won't admit it when I get into these charming moods, but I can tell when they come. I'm fairly confident most regular people suffer from occasional grouchiness, but I hate it when I find myself uncontrollably moody. Wow. Just listen to me. "Uncontrollably moody"? Yeesh, Alyssa. Clearly, I have the free agency to control myself, and I'm just having a difficult time doing so. 

Anyway, it's been an annoying few weeks. I keep letting things get me down; simple things that shouldn't bother me. I get frustrated with people and find the little voice inside my head saying dreadful things. In this state, I don't deserve any blessings, let alone the magnificent ones that surround me daily: family/friends/home/health/food/employment/vehicles to name just a few. 

Imagine my surprise when I received a charming gift from a dear friend in the mail. 

It's not my birthday, or even Christmas yet. But she sent it just the same.

With the book she sent a note that made me feel like I'm worth a million bucks. Isn't it amazing how right at the peak of a crap week, Heavenly Father sends us friends who give us a little boost? I cried just a little when I read the sweet hand written note and held the book in my hand. 

And I sat down immediately to read it.

Have any of you ever read 

stargirl?

It's a lovely story about individuality. It's actually about alot more. But you'll just have to read it. 

I'd never read it before, and I became totally wrapped up in the idea of a creature totally unafraid to be completely natural regardless of what others think. I wish I could be like that. I wish I could ignore superficiality that the world thrusts down on me and confidently stand on my own mountain of uniqueness. 

It's not a huge secret that I'm a little awkward or as I like to describe myself, "quirky" (which I'm pretty sure is just a nice way of saying 'weird'). 

Secretly, I'm fine with that. 

But I'm not always ok with people knowing that I'm fine with my idiocyncratic qualities. Lots of times I pretend that I'm a lot cooler than I actually am. And yes, I just used the word 'cooler'. At least I don't say 'I'm jiggy with that'. (At least not a regular basis.) Reading about stargirl made me so grateful for people who know who they are and are comfortable in their own skin. Somedays I am. Somedays I'm not. I think when I am though, I'm able to open my eyes to things that are more important than myself. I wish I could always be grateful for everything around me; not worrying about what people would think, just consumed with gratitude and smiles.

The book is a masterpiece. I highly recommend it to all. 

And mountains, rivers and oceans of thanks to stephanie for sending me such a sparkling delight.

Night, friends.