Time.

I've been thinking alot lately about time. How much time I have to accomplish this; to accomplish that. How much time, till it's too late to do this; to do that. Sometimes I think ambition is a terrific blessing, and there's nothing better in the whole wide world. Seldomly though, I have days when I resent ambition. It feels like its a trial, or a puzzle piece that I have to force in to my schedule, and I wish that I could just yank it out of myself, like some sort of deeply rooted weed.

...Except I love my weedy ambition.
It's dear to me, and I secretly water and nourish it as though it was the loveliest rose garden.

The point is, I've been thinking about time alot lately.

I started by thinking about the educational experiences I have in mind for myself, and the places around the world I've got to visit before I whither away. You know. Since I'm so old. It's embarrassing to put it this way, but I was trying to strategize how much time I have to do what I want before we start our family. And when that thought popped into my head, I became startled with myself. It sounded more selfish than I hoped that I am. One of my favorite talks came to mind.

In this talk, one of the things President Monson talks about is time. So many times we think we have all the time in the world to do things that are the most important. It is the unimportant things that often we prioritize.

Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks.

Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. 

Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.” Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”

I don't think ambition is bad; I just think my ambition can grow in a few other departments of my life. A really good friend of mine from high school passed away a few months ago. He was a handsome, smart, talented young man. I remember him emailing me, and wanting to catch up, and I sent him a brief friendly reply that essentially said, "Hi, good to hear from you, glad you're doing well. Maybe we can catch up if I'm ever in town." I had no idea that he was experiencing a terrible struggle in his life. And I regret not taking time to give him a little attention, a little friendship. It would have taken me little to no effort.

 In this, the great month of thanks, lets all try to be more grateful for each other, and show each other our love, rather than assume they know. How often do we talk to our parents, our siblings, and our extended families and loved ones? I talked to best friend on the phone a few weeks ago, and it had been months and months since I had last talked to her. So much can happen in such a small amount of time. Traveling opportunities, graduate school, or a study abroad program really, will always be there. Our friends and family may not.

This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. 

Opportunities come, and then they are gone. 

I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. 

Instead, find joy in the journey—now.

This talk was given at a time in my life when I was so clueless about the future ahead. Actually, I'm still really very clueless, but I feel a little more confident about my future than I did when I first watched President Monson at General Conference in 2008. I think it will always be one of my favorite talks, because the message is so full of hope and love.

Make sure your loved ones know how much you care about them.
And be optimistic and confident in the future! There is so much joy to be found.

Happy Monday, treasured friends.
xoxo