down

Hi, friends.

Lately I've been a little down in the dumps, and not in the mood to write. It might have something to do with my work/school schedule, or me being stressed to the max over the events in the next following weeks, or maybe the fact that I'm back to missing my family like a crazy person, but I think a large contribution is the weather.

Normally I adore rainy, gloomy, dreary days, but the past few days I have been missing the sweet warmth of the sun on my skin more than I can bear. I used to almost get annoyed when people would say, "I wish the sun would come out and winter would be over," because to me, what they were really saying was, "Winter accessories are not adorable, and I hate warm soft socks and every form of boots." To me, that's just crazy talk. Who doesn't love a good pair of socks?!

Yet here I am: writing on my blog about how I want the sun to come out. And not just for one day either; I want it to come and stay. As I was driving home from work today, I passed some especially dead looking trees and while I waited for the light to turn green, I inwardly begged them to sprout some sort of blossom. Nothing. They just stayed dead looking and frail.

Then a bird pooped on my windshield and I got really ticked off. If I had the bebe gun my dad gave me when I was 12, that little bird wouldn't have a prayer.

Hmm. I sure sound like an oxymoron talking about how much I love happiness, sunshine and blossoms, and then giving an open threat to a sweet little bird. Anyway.

Just feeling a little gloomy today especially. Gloomy, tired, grouchy, and hungry. And when I'm hungry, the world just isn't a safe place. Last night for fhe, Gideon gave a lesson on faith, which couldn't have come at a better time.

There's been a subtle undertone of insecurity laced in my gloominess lately. Insecurity about my job, about the classes that I'm taking. About the prospect of graduate school, about the prospect of me being successful in anything I'm doing right now. Now, clearly I overreact. I'm a big overrreactor; we can agree on that I'm sure.

I just think on days when you are feeling extra down, there's nothing to bring you up like a great big kiss from the sun. Or from a handsome, sweet husband.

.... I guess a handsome sweet husband will do.