early morning stroll in paris

hey gid.

I knew it was asking a lot to wake up at 5:30 so we could take pictures, but you went along with it anyway. You even put on an especially nice outfit. I didn't even have to ask. 

Cloudy with on and off showers,

...and the occasional stray dog looking for a photo op.

Waking up early when you're already jet lagged is no fun, but having pictures without crowds of people in the background is worth it to me. I'm lucky that it's worth it to you too.

Now I just have to sort through the pictures we took and find the perfect one (two, three, four... ugh, eighteen) to frame.

And I've got you to thank for that. So thank you for the early drizzly morning. Thank you for such an unforgettable trip. And thank you for being my very best boy in the whole world. I love you with everything I've got.

ps- thank you also for taking some really special shots of me on the trip.
Its nice to not always be the one behind the camera. 

lock on a bridge

dear rain, 

We woke up to your dreariness on our last day in paris. And while

the white covers of our warm bed begged us to stay, 

there was just one more thing I really wanted to do before we left the city of lights. 

I knew a thousand other people would be doing the same thing, and that we probably wouldn't be able to get in even one decent picture, but I knew I'd regret it if we didn't at least try. 

Your morning drizzle was hardly noticeable until it transformed into an afternoon downpour as we got on the bus to our destination. I tried to think of you as romantic ("paris in the rain" swoon), but inwardly I scowled, wishing you would have come the day after, when we would be gone. The usually crowded streets emptied- tourists and locals dodging into shops and cafes to avoid you.

When we got off of the bus, you were still determined. It was cold, and so wet. My feet and lower legs were completely drenched; I might as well have been playing in a splash park in february. But after we got off, and began walking the 2 minute journey to the bridge, we realized your downpour had dissolved into a much friendlier sprinkle. 

You had softened, but the normal crowds had completely vanished. 

With the exception of maybe 2 or 3 couples, the bridge was exclusively ours. 

I like to think that you brought yourself just for us, rain. That you intentionally came on our last day in a heavy downpour so that for just a few minutes, we could create memories that would last the rest of our lives with a small amount of privacy.

I know the love lock bridge is a tourist trap, and the notion of a rainy day in paris probably sounds horribly cliche and overly romantic to a lot of people. 

But I'll never forget it as long as I live. 

And I think it was you that made it the perfect day, rain. (Well, you and the fact that we were in paris…) 

So thank you. 

Sorry I ever doubted you. 

ps- here's a link to a short video I made of our time on the bridge friends. xo

dear june,

Oh june, I never thought you'd come. This year has been such a whirlwind already. The last time I wrote was december. December! A lot has happened since. I'll just sum it up, shall I? January- UC Berkeley for a somatic intensive, write and defend IMS thesis. February- Begin writing MFA thesis. March- edit edit edit-meet meet meet- rewrite rewrite rewrite, cry cry cry. April- More writing. More editing. More crying. Until finally, the thesis defense. In May I walked across the graduation stage and had the MFA hood placed over my head. Such a feeling. About a week after graduation my sweetheart and I did some lovely traveling.

Which brings us to this morning, June. I woke up around 4 am, unable to fall back asleep, and just listened to the first morning of your month. Soft breeze, glowing light seeping in gently. The sound of water- sprinklers maybe?

Such a relief to wake up in my own bed, even though so much of our future is still a question mark now that we've both graduated. Please be good to me, June. Last year was not my favorite summer. Of course, last year I still had the most intense two semesters of graduate school in front of me. I still can't believe it's come to an end.

June, I think I'll go sleep some more, ok?

catching up to christmas...

Oh, friends. Haven't posted a thing since Halloween. Haven't had a chance.

Every year of grad school; every semester has been challenging in its own way, but nothing could have prepared me for this last fall. Putting on a thesis concert is no joke. 

Ups and downs, that's for sure. But I have to say, and I could not be more honest right now, that my five dancers were completely enchanting, and I couldn't have been more pleased with the end product. The stage design was (dare I say) perfect, thanks to a friend calling in a favor at hale theatre down in provo. And the costumes! They were exactly what I envisioned. I remember leaving the last night-- feeling like I was gleaming on the inside. Without a doubt, the best piece I've ever created. That feels good.

After the concert I exhaled, got on a flight, and when I woke up, I was in Texas.

Texas. With it's warm starry evenings, and its big-sky sunsets. Texas with the home I grew up in, steeping me in memories every time I walk in. My parents have been doing a lot of remodeling the last few years; every time I walk in the house, there's a room that seems completely new. The memories though, they stay. Every time I go into the kitchen I walk by the wall that I accidentally kneed a hole in while I was horsing around once with my brother Josh. Then there's the bathroom that I'd have "spa days" in when I was a kid. There's the feeling my parents leave in the house--it feels like a warm hug and a cup of cinnamon tea. Goodness. I don't know how I ended up with the best parents in the world.  

Then I watch my niece and my two nephews playing in the same rooms that I grew up in. Having their own shenanigans. And then I just ache with baby fever. (No, unfortunately this is not an announcement...)

And as I watch little miss mimi singing to herself as she prances around the larger guest bedroom (used to be my brothers' room...), and watch gabey patiently looking into the glass window of the oven waiting for his Christmas cookies to finish baking, and then see Alex (the newest nephew) sitting with a big gummy grin, I think of the sweet memories my nieces and nephews are building for themselves, and for us. And then I think about how the best part about Christmas is being with family.

(sigh) It really is the best time of the year, isn't it friends? Can't wait for next year.

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

The past few years, we haven't had time. 

We haven't had motivation. 

But this halloween, we decided to dress up. Nothing over the top, nothing that cost more than a few bucks.  Just needed a newsboy cap for gid, really. 

I already had the skirt, the button up top, the boots and the ribbon for a belt and bow.

Also had a handsome boy to play my chimney sweep, of course. What a cutie.

Our friends lent us the most phenomenal umbrella. 

Very Mary, if I do say so myself.

Our last Halloween in graduate school, friends. 

Such sweet memories for us to cherish for the rest of our lives.

Hoping you all are having a spooky fun evening as well,

dear fall.

I found myself resting under the heavy covers of our bed. It was a saturday morning, and even though I'd been awake for several minutes, I couldn't move. I tried to consider getting out, (after all it was almost nine in the morning) but my pillows begged me to stay, and the sheets pulled me deep in, like some sort of sleepy riptide. Of course Gid had already gotten up, done his homework, made breakfast (I could smell the eggs), and probably run a few marathons. He reminds me of a kitten I had when I was a kid, who would fall asleep right next to me, and then in the morning would disappear. My husband is the stealthiest bed fugitive. I'm a light sleeper, but it doesn't matter. He always manages to sneak out well before my heavy eyes flutter open. Anyway, back to the bed. That warm, wonderful bed. I was determined to stay in it. All day. 

It's fall break this week, friends. Normally fall break is the best thing ever. A week to recuperate, to catch up on homework, get groceries, or in my case, hopefully to finish the choreography for my thesis piece. (sigh)

Not this year. Fate dealt me a nasty hand this autumn. No fall break. Instead: 10 hours a day in the studio working on somatic based studies for a scholarship that I (luckily) was selected for. 

And so, because this particular Saturday was my only day free until the semester began again, I stubbornly stayed in bed. I was absolutely determined to relax. To experience a fall break, even if it would only be 1 day.

Gid came in the room, cheeks rosy, smile wide, and cheerfully asked me what I wanted to do today. "Anything you want," he insisted. I stared at him, lips pressed together thinly, and informed him that I wasn't getting out of bed. Ever. 

My husband is sweet. Instead of telling me how lazy and ungrateful I am, he crawled into bed with me and joined me in watching mindless television for almost a whole hour. Let me explain something: my husband- he doesn't watch mindless TV. Not ever. He watches the news, and an occasional basketball game. Hulu.com? That's pathetic for the likes of Gideon Tolman. Don't you realize he could be doing something productive? Listening to conference. Washing the car. Balancing the checkbook. Saving a baby. He has better things to do than catch up on "Parenthood". But somehow, on this special saturday, I didn't even have to beg him to be lazy with me. I don't know anyone else who he'd do that for. So sweet. After watching my favorite show and coaxing me out of the warm covers, Gideon drew my attention to the warm vibrant color of the leaves outside. And immediately, I knew what I wanted to do on my one day of fall break.

We got our little tripod out, dusted off my camera, and grabbed the handheld remote we never use. And then we took family fall pictures. We didn't have to go more than a minute away from our apartment to find the perfect spot. And with the brisk fall air around us, the leaves happy to participate as the perfect backdrop, and the sound of the football game as our mood music, it made for a pretty lovely afternoon. A nice memory to store away, you know?

While I was metering for light, Gideon didn't realize he was posing for some really hunky shots. I'll have to use that as a trick next time to get him to pose seriously...

We walked. And caught up on life. Goodness, I sometimes forget how little we get to see each other with our school schedules. After our shoot, Gid took me out for ice cream and shopping. 

Hands off ladies, he's mine.

...all mine.

And now, thanks to my handsome sweet, kitten of a husband,
I didn't stay in bed all day long after all.

Even better, we now have something to remind us of our
last fall break in graduate school.
The end.

Here's hoping the rest of you are enjoying a real fall break,

in case you were wondering what handsome looks like...

My sweet hubs turned 29 about a week ago, friends. 

While he was working on a big paper, I quietly sneaked around the living room, decorating, wrapping his presents, and getting his birthday cheesecake ready. 

 Sweet candles, right? (They better be-- they were like $5 a piece...)

When I called Gid into the room, he looked like a kid who'd just discovered it was Christmas. So darling. He still gives me butterflies. Look at that smile. I love him when he's scruffy. That's how you know gid is stressed: check his scruff...

This birthday feels a little more significant than the others we've celebrated together. For one, its Gid's last year in his twenties. Isn't that nuts? I'm going to be married to a thirty year old! Stranger still- I'm right behind him. The other night we watched that Jennifer Garner film, "Thirteen Going on Thirty". Gid is very selective of which films (especiiaaallly girly films) he'll watch with me, but he really enjoyed it. Good flick, even by Gid standards.

Anyway, I think Gid will make such a handsome thirty something. When men get older, its not necessarily a bad thing. When I notice a wrinkle, I cringe a bit. When I see a wrinkle on Gid, all I can think is that he looks more sophisticated than ever. He should be the mayor of handsomville. 

Why does this birthday feel so different? Is it our thirties sneaking up behind us, preparing to give us a wedgie (as part of a welcome to our post twenties)? Maybe. 

I've also started to (finally) realize that this is our last year in graduate school. Maybe our last year in the education system forever (depending on what you identify as "the education system"). Next time we celebrate either of our birthdays we'll have graduated. I know it sounds silly, but it seems significant. Who knows what will be going on a year from now when gid blows out his birthday candles? I wonder where we'll live? What jobs we'll have? (Will we even HAVE jobs?!) So much to find out in this next year. 

Anyway, here's lookin' at you, kid. 

Like I said-- what a hunk. 

Good luck next week friends,