a fourth of july baking story...

We had a sweet and slow forth of july, friends. 

Slept in. Check. 

Snuggled. Check. 

Rolled out of bed, and looked for something to eat in our kitchen. Check. 

We've been out of town a lot this summer, which has resulted in a pretty skinny kitchen. There was cereal, some fruit snacks, and a couple onions in the fridge. (Okay, maybe there were a few more things, but those are the only items I remember...)

So we took a quick run to the market, and grabbed the essentials for a terrific fourth of july treat. It made for a sweet and patriotic afternoon; the perfect thing to do before taking a walk through sugarhouse and enjoying the afternoon activities and evening fireworks. A lovely fourth, though we really missed family- normally we spend this holiday with Gideon's relatives in Salmon.

Wanting to remember our delicious afternoon, we recorded a small video of our holiday fruit tart. Enjoy friends. Keep an eye out for a sparkler video next...

Wishing you all lovely memories from this fourth,

This is what I'm thinking...

That last post left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth, 

so now I need to write about some other things on my mind:

I'm thinking twinkle lights and candles.

I'm thinking casual chic.

I'm thinking of picnic blankets, champagne glasses, and a playlist full of billie, frank, and ella.

I'm thinking cake (for the sake of cake).

And maybe even an outside flick to finish the night off.

Just an evening of summer fun with good friends. That's what I'm thinking.

Who's with me? Shall we throw a summer party just for fun?

ps- I had so so many friends send me private sweet messages today.
So lucky to have such great people in my life. Thanks everybody.

early morning stroll in paris

hey gid.

I knew it was asking a lot to wake up at 5:30 so we could take pictures, but you went along with it anyway. You even put on an especially nice outfit. I didn't even have to ask. 

Cloudy with on and off showers,

...and the occasional stray dog looking for a photo op.

Waking up early when you're already jet lagged is no fun, but having pictures without crowds of people in the background is worth it to me. I'm lucky that it's worth it to you too.

Now I just have to sort through the pictures we took and find the perfect one (two, three, four... ugh, eighteen) to frame.

And I've got you to thank for that. So thank you for the early drizzly morning. Thank you for such an unforgettable trip. And thank you for being my very best boy in the whole world. I love you with everything I've got.

ps- thank you also for taking some really special shots of me on the trip.
Its nice to not always be the one behind the camera. 

lock on a bridge

dear rain, 

We woke up to your dreariness on our last day in paris. And while

the white covers of our warm bed begged us to stay, 

there was just one more thing I really wanted to do before we left the city of lights. 

I knew a thousand other people would be doing the same thing, and that we probably wouldn't be able to get in even one decent picture, but I knew I'd regret it if we didn't at least try. 

Your morning drizzle was hardly noticeable until it transformed into an afternoon downpour as we got on the bus to our destination. I tried to think of you as romantic ("paris in the rain" swoon), but inwardly I scowled, wishing you would have come the day after, when we would be gone. The usually crowded streets emptied- tourists and locals dodging into shops and cafes to avoid you.

When we got off of the bus, you were still determined. It was cold, and so wet. My feet and lower legs were completely drenched; I might as well have been playing in a splash park in february. But after we got off, and began walking the 2 minute journey to the bridge, we realized your downpour had dissolved into a much friendlier sprinkle. 

You had softened, but the normal crowds had completely vanished. 

With the exception of maybe 2 or 3 couples, the bridge was exclusively ours. 

I like to think that you brought yourself just for us, rain. That you intentionally came on our last day in a heavy downpour so that for just a few minutes, we could create memories that would last the rest of our lives with a small amount of privacy.

I know the love lock bridge is a tourist trap, and the notion of a rainy day in paris probably sounds horribly cliche and overly romantic to a lot of people. 

But I'll never forget it as long as I live. 

And I think it was you that made it the perfect day, rain. (Well, you and the fact that we were in paris…) 

So thank you. 

Sorry I ever doubted you. 

ps- here's a link to a short video I made of our time on the bridge friends. xo

dear june,

Oh june, I never thought you'd come. This year has been such a whirlwind already. The last time I wrote was december. December! A lot has happened since. I'll just sum it up, shall I? January- UC Berkeley for a somatic intensive, write and defend IMS thesis. February- Begin writing MFA thesis. March- edit edit edit-meet meet meet- rewrite rewrite rewrite, cry cry cry. April- More writing. More editing. More crying. Until finally, the thesis defense. In May I walked across the graduation stage and had the MFA hood placed over my head. Such a feeling. About a week after graduation my sweetheart and I did some lovely traveling.

Which brings us to this morning, June. I woke up around 4 am, unable to fall back asleep, and just listened to the first morning of your month. Soft breeze, glowing light seeping in gently. The sound of water- sprinklers maybe?

Such a relief to wake up in my own bed, even though so much of our future is still a question mark now that we've both graduated. Please be good to me, June. Last year was not my favorite summer. Of course, last year I still had the most intense two semesters of graduate school in front of me. I still can't believe it's come to an end.

June, I think I'll go sleep some more, ok?

dear fall.

I found myself resting under the heavy covers of our bed. It was a saturday morning, and even though I'd been awake for several minutes, I couldn't move. I tried to consider getting out, (after all it was almost nine in the morning) but my pillows begged me to stay, and the sheets pulled me deep in, like some sort of sleepy riptide. Of course Gid had already gotten up, done his homework, made breakfast (I could smell the eggs), and probably run a few marathons. He reminds me of a kitten I had when I was a kid, who would fall asleep right next to me, and then in the morning would disappear. My husband is the stealthiest bed fugitive. I'm a light sleeper, but it doesn't matter. He always manages to sneak out well before my heavy eyes flutter open. Anyway, back to the bed. That warm, wonderful bed. I was determined to stay in it. All day. 

It's fall break this week, friends. Normally fall break is the best thing ever. A week to recuperate, to catch up on homework, get groceries, or in my case, hopefully to finish the choreography for my thesis piece. (sigh)

Not this year. Fate dealt me a nasty hand this autumn. No fall break. Instead: 10 hours a day in the studio working on somatic based studies for a scholarship that I (luckily) was selected for. 

And so, because this particular Saturday was my only day free until the semester began again, I stubbornly stayed in bed. I was absolutely determined to relax. To experience a fall break, even if it would only be 1 day.

Gid came in the room, cheeks rosy, smile wide, and cheerfully asked me what I wanted to do today. "Anything you want," he insisted. I stared at him, lips pressed together thinly, and informed him that I wasn't getting out of bed. Ever. 

My husband is sweet. Instead of telling me how lazy and ungrateful I am, he crawled into bed with me and joined me in watching mindless television for almost a whole hour. Let me explain something: my husband- he doesn't watch mindless TV. Not ever. He watches the news, and an occasional basketball game. Hulu.com? That's pathetic for the likes of Gideon Tolman. Don't you realize he could be doing something productive? Listening to conference. Washing the car. Balancing the checkbook. Saving a baby. He has better things to do than catch up on "Parenthood". But somehow, on this special saturday, I didn't even have to beg him to be lazy with me. I don't know anyone else who he'd do that for. So sweet. After watching my favorite show and coaxing me out of the warm covers, Gideon drew my attention to the warm vibrant color of the leaves outside. And immediately, I knew what I wanted to do on my one day of fall break.

We got our little tripod out, dusted off my camera, and grabbed the handheld remote we never use. And then we took family fall pictures. We didn't have to go more than a minute away from our apartment to find the perfect spot. And with the brisk fall air around us, the leaves happy to participate as the perfect backdrop, and the sound of the football game as our mood music, it made for a pretty lovely afternoon. A nice memory to store away, you know?

While I was metering for light, Gideon didn't realize he was posing for some really hunky shots. I'll have to use that as a trick next time to get him to pose seriously...

We walked. And caught up on life. Goodness, I sometimes forget how little we get to see each other with our school schedules. After our shoot, Gid took me out for ice cream and shopping. 

Hands off ladies, he's mine.

...all mine.

And now, thanks to my handsome sweet, kitten of a husband,
I didn't stay in bed all day long after all.

Even better, we now have something to remind us of our
last fall break in graduate school.
The end.

Here's hoping the rest of you are enjoying a real fall break,

a valentines abroad

I love traveling. 

So so so much. 

I always find myself antsy to get away.

Even going for a road trip a few hours north south east or west. 

Bliss.

As a kid, my family would travel a lot during the summers especially. Some summers we'd go backpacking for a few weeks at a time. Others, we'd go to the beach and battle the waves. Everything was an adventure, and I loved every minute.


Since getting married, and especially starting graduate school, Gid and I have had to cut down our traveling budget down to holidays home. Which is fine; it's ok for us to be poor. We're going to look back on these years as some of the sweetest in our lives. I love that our apartment is made of cinderblock and eating out is a rarity.

But the adventurer in me has been stewing. She's antsy. She doesn't care about a masters degree. She wants to backpack around europe, or go bike riding in new zealand. She's tired of thesis research, sunday school and dusting the living room. And to be honest, she's starting to get a little cranky.

The other day I started expressing my feelings (a fancy way of saying whining) to gid about how badly I want to get away just for a day from salt lake. And then- the perfect idea for a valentines date hit me.

Friends, any of you heard of a staycation? 

I read about it on pinterest. All I had to do was basically make our tiny apartment (really just our bedroom) into a new place for just one night. I added a "night around the world" theme to our evening plans as well.

First we planned a nice dinner at the most wonderful indian restaurant ever. We pretended we were really in India. It was even stupid crazy busy that night, so we kept making comments to each other like, "wow- india is really busy tonight... and full of white people..."

After visiting India (which was beyond delicious). We took a quick trip to Germany and enjoyed some incredible chocolate treats made in Stuttgart.


Following europe, we came to a lovely bed and breakfast (also known as our apartment) which had been royally decorated for the occasion. Gid was stunned.

Preparing the room was by far the most complex part of this evening. I've simplified it to 5 steps:
Step 1: Get spare bedsheets, curtains and left over christmas twinkle lights. Make canopy on ceiling of bedroom with romantic twinkling lights. (Pretend the twinkle lights are stars.)
Step 2: Get vintage postcards/posters from around the world and tape them to the windows and walls.
Step 3: Rearrange the room a bit to make it look different. Change the bedspread.
Step 4: Make little sign on the bed that says "Welcome to your suite."
Step 5: Put gourmet chocolates on the pillows.

Oh friends, I really wish I'd thought to take pictures.
It was so magical to transform our tiny bedroom.

After revealing our honeymoon suite, I planned on us watching the french film Les Choriste, but to be honest, we were both too pooped to watch anything. This may or may not be a sign of us getting older. It was around 9:30 that we got in bed.

And there you have it, dear friends. A valentines abroad. 

Perhaps someday we'll actually get on a plane to go on an adventure. 

But I liked it this way too. 

Good luck this next week,

winter blues.

*As I write this I'm wearing four layers on my top half, three layers on my legs, two pairs of socks, and am wrapped in a blanket like a friggin eskimo.

__________________________________________

In college I had a roommate who would get incredibly depressed during the winter. She would go to tanning beds, eat lots of fruity treats, and even would watch movies that took place in the summertime to combat her sad feelings. This will sound terribly insensitive (because it is):  I thought it was super annoying. And that she just wanted attention. And that she was kind of really really dramatic.

I grew up in Texas, where weather below 90 degrees is welcomed graciously. I hated the long hot summers. I hated feeling chronically sweaty. I hated the hot wind, the dust and the sun in general. In fact, summer time texas weather made me grouchy in general. Especially when I had to be outside in it (which, in my family-- you were always outside).

I don't know why it never occurred to me that if long hot summers made me grouchy, long snowy and dark winters could make my roommate depressed. When I was in college the winters (even the long snowy idaho ones) were annoying at times, but certainly not a good reason to get weepy or sad.

Moving to today.

It's so cold. It's been cold for the past several weeks. There's a good foot or so of snow from last month that has turned into a block of ice where the usual grassy area in our front yard is. There are three days forecasted for more snow within the next week. I hate it. My feelings for this winter have transformed from an irritation to a full on loathing for the cold.
And I love winter accessories.

 A few days ago I found myself feeling blue, weepy, and totally unmotivated for the load I have ahead of me this semester. Unsure of where these feelings were coming from, I went to the closet to grab a(n extra) pair of socks, and a(n extra) blanket to bundle up in. I felt like watching something cheerful, cheesy and pathetic, so I looked for the bachelor on hulu.

And it hit me.

I was my roommate.

And immediately I felt a(nother) wave of regret for my insensitive attitude towards her seasonal depression. You know how when you judge people it always comes back to bite you? I hate that.


Wishing you all a warmer evening than my own,

new year.

Obviously this is late.
Obviously I haven't been on here for months now.
Oh, you didn't notice? Shoot.

Well, I'm only 20 days late on posting something about the new year.
And I have my resolutions written out, (I might post them later) but I'm only going to share and hold myself to one of them today.

And it is simply this: 

Every day, try to have a good day.

Sure, there will be days I'll want to throw myself into an endless pit. There will be days I'll want to quit grad school. There will be days when Gid may seem less than charming. But today, tomorrow, and the next 345 days after that, I'm going to make a conscious decision to try to make it good.

Crisp.

Friends. Do you know what day it is today? 

Think crisp. Think scarves. 

Boots, candy apples, and cider. 

Think color. 

Specifically, yellows, oranges and deep reds. 

Think golden undertones. Think crunchy leaves.

Think evening parties with hanging golden twinkle lights and dancing to ella fitzgerald.

Think pumpkins, cinnamon, and nutmeg.

Think college football. Think soup and homemade bread. 

Think of cuddling under warm blankets instead of cranking up the AC.

Happy first day of Autumn, friends.

ps- more details to come about my upcoming fall party. Stay tuned.

sisters & easter eggs

Gid and I had my sister and her sweet little family over for some easter fun.

It's no surprise that the majority of the pictures are of me and mel.

Enjoy.

Uh. Mel had the sweetest side bun I've seen ever. 

So I took a profile silhouette picture.

...and we all enjoyed an easter themed angel food cake. 

Notice the pink, yellow and green layer? Nailed it.

Happy Easter, Everyone!