a year old! (with a video!)

i'll start by saying that i need to worry less about things that don't matter.

i told myself i'd throw teddy an epic first party, that we'd invite all our friends, and have the best time. and when his birthday came and went, and we all were sick, i realized none of us wanted a huge party, and that trying to force something that none of us wanted was silly.

my 12 month baby doesn't care if i throw him a party 6 days after his birthday.

he doesn't care if the occasion includes photos and video taking.
he doesn't care about, or need excessive presents.

he doesn't mind if the cake has candles on it.

as it turns out, he doesn't care if there's a cake at all.

(he took one bite of it, shook his head, and put his arms up for me to take him off the table, lol.
he must have less of a tolerance for sugar than i do because that cake was delicious.)

do you see the tiny hint of frosting on his chin?
i thought he'd be covered in it, ha!

i did a newborn shoot this morning, and kept wondering how it was possible that teddy, my tiny little baby, looks like a gigantic person compared to a one month old. i'm devastated and so proud of him at the same time.

my quiet moments in the past week have been spent wondering if i've been the mother he deserves. because he deserves the very best. did i give him enough attention during his first year? was i patient enough? loving enough?

and when (inevitably) i recall the many times i didn't do my best, i remind myself how lucky i am that i get more than one year to be the mom he deserves, and how patient he continues to be with me, even with my faults (obvious, even to a one year old).

i can't believe it's been 12 months, and 6 days since the first time i heard his long low cry; since i first looked into his deep eyes, and touched his thick, dark hair.

371 days of diaper changes, spit up disasters, and nap time rocking.

371 days of questioning if i'm cut out for this job; somedays feeling wonderful about motherhood, and somedays feeling like i'm in the middle of a major identity crisis, and wondering if i'll ever recognize myself again.

371 days of kisses, snuggles, and tears
(more mine than his, because let's be honest- most of the time, i'm much more of a baby than he is.)

371 days of a love like i've never experienced before.

happy birthday, my little sweetheart.
i'm going to go finish your cake now.
xo

ps- here's a poorly done video i made that someday we're going to cherish very much.

falling for finn & emma.

part of the time we were living in salt lake i worked at the sweetest baby boutique. it was such a good job, and i loved learning about different baby products and brands. (especially when i got pregnant!) 

one of the brands we loved at babinskis, is a company named finn & emma. they carry everything from clothing (way cute options) to play gyms, to toys and rattles, to bibs, to swaddles... do i need to keep going? 

everything from finn & emma is organic, limiting your little one's exposure to harmful chemicals. 

people roll their eyes, (and i have to admit, i used to too) but studies have shown that synthetic fibers can contains petrochemicals, acrylic, pvc, and other toxins that have been linked to a variety of health problems.

if you can, it's a good idea especially when they're tiny to invest in some organic clothes for your little one. 

finn & emma is also a fair trade company. (something less common than you'd hope.) you can be assured that every piece you receive from them was created in a humane environment and paid for fairly. this makes me appreciate their brand and quality even more.

we've loved having these beautiful products in our home, and we are always getting compliments on our wood playgym. you guys know i'm all about beautiful toys that aren't obnoxious for me to look at or listen to, ha!

we're so thrilled finn & emma asked us to write about them to bring a little more awareness of organic products, and fair trade.

here's a peek of finn & emma in our day to day life:

i hope you guys have an awesome day!

xo

teddy's onesie.

teddy's playgym.

teddy's raccoon toy.

other finn & emma pieces we love right now:

these hanging toys for his play gym

this romper

and this cute polariod

this post brought to you by finn & emma

our favorite ways to burn calories with CHOBANI. (video!)

okay, folks. we're going on a beach vacation in a few months, and i'm determined to get myself to a place where i feel good about wearing a swimsuit. i don't like making fitness goals that focus on numbers, so instead i'm looking at creative ways to stay active, and make healthy and realistic eating choices. (because as much as i would lovvvvvvve to hire an organic chef to cook for me, {and jillian michaels to train me} i can't afford it...)

teddy was eyeing my breakfast and i couldn't resist giving him a little taste. he's very proud of himself in this picture...

one of my worst habits is forgetting to eat until the mid to late afternoon. does anyone else do this? (pm me, and we'll cry together.) it's horrible, guys. skipping meals only make you eat more at a later time when your metabolism has slowed, and increase all sorts of scary risks. it's just really bad and i've done it habitually since i was in high school, despite having a mother who taught me nothing but healthy eating habits.

so here are two easy goals for me to strive towards for the next three months:

1- drink water first thing in the morning, and absolutely eat some sort of breakfast before 11:00 am.

2- commit 20 minutes a day to burning at least 100 calories. because goals form habits, and 100 calories seems like a super achievable amount of calories to get taken care of in a day. (rocking teddy alone should cover it, right?!)

one of the easiest breakfast options in our fridge is yogurt, and Chobani has introduced Simply 100 Crunch- made with their trademark greek yogurt and delicious toppings, all for 100 calories!
(ps- that last link has a downloadable coupon, sooooooo that's awesome...)

these are easy enough for even me to commit to for breakfast, ya'll.

and my goal to burn 100 calories a day?

Chobani gave us some easy ideas!

going for a light and easy walk with the stroller?
playing with teddy for 20 minutes??
having a dance party?!!

guys. i can do this. we can do this. who's in?
and bonus: a little video of us testing out some of our favorite ways to burn 100 calories.
please excuse my dance moves... (i'm putting that MFA in modern dance to good use, right??)

have a happy wednesday, guys.
thanks so much for stopping by!
xo


this post brought to you by chobani.

papa bear.

dear teddy,

you're a lucky little bear. i was going through some old pictures from christmas, and i found a few pictures and clips of you and your dad playing at grandma's house. i don't know how i got such a handsome husband, and you got such an adoring father, but he's all ours and i'm so glad.

this footage was before you were army crawling everywhere, and drooling at any and every piece of solid food in our house. this was when you still fit into 6-9 month outfits (barely), and were still stingy with giving laughs. you're growing so fast, and are so desperate to discover the world, and as happy as that makes me, (because seriously you're going to love it when i introduce you to things like trampolines and puppies) part of me will always hold onto memories like these, when you were small enough to fit in our arms, and 3 ounces of milk was enough to fill your little tummy. 

keep growing, because that's normal and healthy, and i don't want to be a
mom who isn't happy that her baby is moving forward, instead of staying put. 

but take your time, little guy. consider it? xo

christmasing our apartment (with a video!)

we finally got a tree over the weekend. teddy wasn't super impressed with the farm we went to, but i'm thrilled with what we picked. it's bushy and full and fits perfectly under our staircase. 

it's a harry potter tree.

this is our first christmas with teddy, and i didn't want to forget it (especially the little things) so i set the camera up and made a little video of us decorating our apartment. it's not too interesting now, but i think we'll look back on it and have sweet memories.

memories of how sweet teddy is right now (those eyes!). memories of how little i get ready these days and how many chins i have... memories of the awful stockings we bought at some cheap store six years ago (good suggestions of where to buy nice stockings welcome!), and all of the other decorations we got when we were newlyweds and haven't replaced.

memories of our little loft apartment. memories of our harry potter christmas tree.

i keep telling myself one of these years i'm going to go to pottery barn and buy everything seasonal, and then i remember that after i pay for christmas decorations, i still have to shop for christmas, and then when i look at our little things they seem cute again.

this time next week i'll be in an airplane heading to family. i can't wait.

christmas cards
teddy's striped blanket

happy december, guys.