halloweentime.

i was going to give up on a family halloween costume, because the last few weeks have been rough, and i didn't want to stress myself out with a holiday that is supposed to be fun.

i'm so glad we decided to throw a costume together anyway.

i present to you: princess leia, handsome han solo, and a sleepy little ewok.
(poor teddy was fast asleep throughout all of our pictures, and i didn't have the heart to wake him up.)
enjoy, friends.

happy halloween, my people.

estella-nyc i love you

GUYS. our friends over at estella-nyc sent teddy this sweet little taxi rattle that has been on my wishlist for months! i'm dying!! i thought it was darling on the website, but i love it even more in person.

even better: so does teddy!

i buy cute stuff for him a lot that he's not very impressed with (i should give him a break since he's just a little guy, but sometimes i'm like, "buddy, mama spent eight dollars on this toy, so you will love it." he's working on holding things for more than a split second, and the wheels on this taxi are perfect for his little fingers. soo cute, right?! i'm obsessed.

estella-nyc is an eclectic, high end, designer baby boutique in new york's village, and they partner with a small community of knitters in peru to make their organic cotton rattles, security blankets and kids décor items. so cool, right? not only do they support these talented artists (which already- i'm like count me in and take my money), they are also all about fair trade, fair wage, and creating a high quality, beautiful hand made product at a price point that is reasonable for you and me, while still compensating the artists fairly. which is so cool. did i mention they just got in some new christmas rattles?

you guys! are you in love yet? i'm nuts about them.

one more thing. teddy's crib is featured on their product webpage!

so check 'em out, friends. i know you'll be as crazy about them as i am. xo

taxi rattle
taxi blanket
teddy's outfit
swaddle
boppy cover

this post brought to you by estella. 

pumpkin patch II.

teddy's first pumpkin patch visit from this post was super fun, but it happened before gideon came down to texas to join us. 

obviously we had to make another trip to a patch as a family, right?

sometimes i look at pictures like this, and i'm like, "cute baby." and then i realize he's our baby and we get to keep him forever, and it just makes my day.

i'm still not used to the fact that there's three of us now.

...which is weird because it feels like teddy has been with us forevvvveer.

(i'm lookin' at you, sleepless nights! did i mention teddy 

decided he doesn't want to sleep through the night after all? sigh)

now we have three pumpkins outside our door- a big one, a medium one, and a baby one.

gid's shirt (sale!)
teddy's cute hat
baby wrap

happy monday!

weekend wishlist

summer is long gone, i know- but for some reason i've been craving bright colors lately. i think its because fall seems to be slipping through my fingers way too fast, and i'm trying to turn back time. whatever the reason, here are some things that i'm wishing for this week, friends:

airplane bouncer?!
(i check this every week to make sure it's still there, but i can't commit to buying it yet.)

bright playdress.

(unfortunately this one is out of stock, but their new line is coming out november 2nd!)

darling taxi rattle.

(i don't know what's so charming about it, but i'm in love.)

this friendly diaper bag

(is the pink too much? maybe. but its on sale!)

colorful bear hat
(comes with matching mittens!)

onsie
(i know its obnoxious to post christmasy things 

before halloween has even passed, but i couldn't help myself.)

charlie brown mittens

(what do you think, friends? cute or nah? i can't decide.)

this sweet little kitty

(because i'll always be a sucker for chartreuse.)

have a happy weekend, friends.

party of three.

my sister was kind enough to snap some shots of all of us during our texas visit.

 i guess teddy doesn't like taking pictures as a group...

poor little buddy was super annoyed the whole time.

we tried taking turns

(one of us holding him and the other trying to encourage a smile)

not a lot of luck. 

this shot was an accident with the background in focus and us blurry, but it's a favorite!

wouldn't you agree?

maybe in the next few months we'll shoot for a smile.

i know exactly what i would do if i didn't have kids, and other things on my mind.

i get confused when people say, "my life had no meaning before i had a child", or "i don't know what i would do if i didn't have kids". what is that?? are you bragging? are you trying to make childless people feel inferior? i don't get it. i'm not trying to be snarky. i really don't get it.

ps- i know *exactly what i would do if i didn't have kids.

i'm not hiding my face to be artistic.
 i'm hiding it because i look like a swamp creature.

i feel like i can't have nice things anymore (even the nice things i already own). i wore a favorite top to a reception last weekend and teddy threw up all over it mid conversation with the bride. thank goodness the room had romantic lighting. i should've been like, "oh you sweet little baby," but i was all like "noooooo teddy, this is silk! how could you?!!"

gid and i decided to branch out with our food choices (we've been eating way too much chic-fil-a lately-- but it's so close to us!) and i ordered a semi-spicy peanut thai dish. after nursing, teddy promptly went through a 44 package of diapers in like 30 hours, you guys. it was brutal.

the fall colors are so nice right now, and i've been getting all bummed out that winter is coming. it's hard enough feeling isolated when it's nice outside. i've got kind of a bad feeling about the next few months.

last night i had a dream i was pregnant again.

i still get horrible anxiety on sundays. it's actually gotten worse since we moved. i dread church, and i miss my old ward really badly. i didn't think that would happen. i thought i hated utah drivers enough to not miss anything about utah. but i miss a lot of things. unimportant things. like shopping. it's stupid, but it's true.

i was trying to figure out why utah has such excellent shopping on the ride home, and i decided it's because mormons have extra cash on hand from not buying booze and tobacco, so they spend all their money at nordstrom. maybe? that's my theory.

i can't decide between two extremely similar colors for the canopy of my stroller. one is red, one is coral red, and i'm stupidly agonizing over which one i should buy (now i'm thinking i should just get black because it's safe, ughh). i have such an easy life if these are the things i think about. (if anyone wants to tell me which one they think is better, i'm all ears. be a pal, would you? seriously i need you.)

is it only tuesday? i wish it were friday so i could hang out with gid all weekend again. it bugs me that i miss him so much. i feel like a high school girl obsessed with her boyfriend, waiting impatiently for football practice to be over so she can hold hands, and maybe make out underneath the stadium.

* exercise, read books (for more than 10 minutes at a time), get a job, work really hard at it, get really good at it, and make a lot of money, travel, shower, and go to target, or out to eat, or to a movie whenever i want. 

weekend wishlist

k, its official- i've gotten really good at online shopping for things i can't afford. look at this cute crap, you guys! are you as excited as i am for halloween and thanksgiving and walks in leaves and pumpkins? i've been flirting with the idea of dressing our family up as characters from the nutcracker. a ballerina, a soldier (gid), and the mouse king (teddy- see outfit below). is that dumb? constructive criticism welcome--but ONLY if you've got a better idea to contribute.

here's the stuff i'm drooling over this week, guys:

some oversized twinkle lights to hang on my romantic woody balcony

this cute mama shirt

this cool doormat that screams fall

kitty phone cover (for october, or ANY other month because it is so cute, or am i nuts?)

kitty sweater dress for little girl 

mary jane socks (again for a little girl, but i promise i'm in love with my little guy, k?)

mouse king outfit- brown onesie, and gray crown

this awesome candle that smells like i live in anthropologie 

this cute apple pillow for teddy

this cool basket for his swaddles- since i have a MILLION of them, and this would help keep them in the same place and looking cute.

try not to shop too much this weekend friends.

i'll do the same.

quick texas visit.

i've been crazy homesick, and teddy hasn't had a chance to

breathe texas air yet, so we decided to make a quick visit.

so fun, guys.

is it me, or is lubbock getting nicer? i'm so confused.

anyway, we checked out this pumpkin patch and had a sweet time.

the babies are getting bigger, and it breaks my heart. part of me feels like becoming a mama makes me less attentive (and consequentially less fun) of an aunt. it's okay, it's just kinda true. 

i wish i had more energy, or that i could duplicate myself- one of me just for playing, one just for picture taking, one of me just for changing diapers...etc

i held teddy in this awesome wrap the whole time we were there, and was able to get some pictures and video taken. everything is more complicated with a little guy. i wonder how many more family videos i've got left in me with a baby to pay attention to.

anyway, i managed to throw this little video together to remember our trip. i'm hoping i'll look back on it and remember how fun it was, watching the little ones run around, and smelling the sweet fall air.

it's teddy's first debut in a family video! many many more to come.
enjoy friends. xo

dear october,

nice of you to show up. 

i thought you'd never make it. 

"just wait till three months," they said. "everything gets a little easier at three months."
teddy was born at the beginning of july. so you october, you were my gold, sparkling three month prize. i've watched the leaves change from green to gold in anticipation for you. september has never been longer. including that year that i got married to gid.

you know october, i used to think to myself, "what do mothers do all day?" i did.
secretly of course, because i didn't want people to know what a judgmental
(shall i say it? i shall.) arse i was being.

well now i know, october. i know what mothers do all day long. i know, contrary to what i imagined, that changing diapers, feeding and keeping up with a newborn takes more than an hour or two here and there (nevermind other things like laundry, cleaning bottles, or keeping yourself fed and washed). i know that breastfeeding and keeping your milk supply up is horribly exhausting, and i'll defend women who decide not to do it until the day i die.

teddy turns three months old tomorrow, october.
isn't that exciting and sad all at the same time?
he slept for seven hours two nights ago. (last night wasn't nearly as wonderful, but lets go ahead and say he's getting closer to sleeping through the night, okay?)

when i talk to him, he coos back. 

he laughed about a week ago. 

you'd love his laugh, october.

and i know everything isn't going to be easier now. i know i'll still have horrible nights full of crying, diaper changes, and endless spit up. i know in many ways that when one thing gets easier, it's only inevitable that more difficult things will show up. it's a law of physics or something, right?

but i'm still going to take a moment, lift an imaginary glass of champagne and make a toast.  

(toast sounds delicious right now). 

to three months. 

three horrible and wonderful months. three months without murdering anyone, without running away, and without showering (haha). three months of desperately trying to convince my baby that my breast is just as good as his bottle. three months of keeping his diapers changed and his little tears wiped. three months of hating gid being at work, and crying because i miss him so badly. three months. watching my baby grow out of newborn, 0-3, and 3-6 month clothing
(you guys, he's tall).

 three months of adjusting to a life that is so very very new, 

and being able to say that we survived. 

for three months, anyway.

here's to you, october.