paranoia and not being able to breathe and other stuff.

his favorite spot lately is right in my lungs. i really don't love it. it was so nice when he was small enough to fit back in a little office in my belly where i couldn't feel him practicing tai chi ALL DAY.

i have a pregnancy app on my phone that sent me an article about a week ago titled "signs of premature labor". it listed a bunch of symptoms i've def been experiencing on and off over the past few days. why do i read these things?! i've been laying down a lot lately, even though i know i'm over reacting. braxton hicks shouldn't hurt, right?

this time last year, i was finishing my MFA. it makes me feel a little old, and a little like, "huh. what have you accomplished since then?" **

gid works so hard, and is so good at everything he does. sometimes i feel a little peanut butter and jealous, but mostly i'm just really proud of him and especially proud that he's my hubby. pbj sounds really good right now ps.

i'm homesick.

my shopping momentum has gone back down to an all time low. i think i'll just figure out if i need it after teddy comes and then buy it. i'm worried i'll jinx myself and will need all the stuff i'm waiting on and then will have to spend a million dollars all at once.

while i was out of town gid made a special baby section in our room, and bought diapers and baby laundry detergent. i'm still trying to figure out if he's real.

i knew my tummy would get big, but i didn't realize how hard it would get. it kinda bugs me that my abs have never been this firm, even when i was a gymnast and had a six pack for like five minutes. whatever.

i thought i was done throwing up, but i was wrong. at least it's down to about once a week. not bad at all.

we bought a really nice recliner and decided to put it into our living room while we wait to get into a two bedroom. when i saw how badly it threw off the perfect symmetry of our living room furniture i cried for about 10 minutes. i didn't realize how important symmetry in that room was to me.

we got our tax return back. last year we used it to pay for a trip to europe. this year we'll probably use it to buy a stroller or something else for teddy. isn't that wild?

** to be fair, in the last year i did finalize and publish my thesis, got to go on a few awesome vacations, and get to have a sweet little baby do jumping jacks in my belly. it's uncomfortable, but i can't believe my luck.