a post about connections...

I love realizing that I have more in common with people than I thought. I love finding out that we enjoy the same (not so common) book, style, era, or favorite dessert. I love discovering that I share the same unique dreams with people. So fun to find out that someone shares my obscure taste in music! So funny to find out they share the same guilty pleasure that I enjoy.

So relieving to discover that we share the same frustrations. (Frustrations that I thought I was the only person in the world to experience, in the history of time, space and complete existence.) So validating to be reminded that we all have days when we're fighting a tough fight. Days when we're postponing going to bed specifically so we can avoid the inevitability of yet another day. 

Days when we watch crappy reality dating television shows so we can attempt to feel better about ourselves. ("At least I'm not desperate enough to be on this dumb show....that I watch every monday religiously... since that's not pathetic")

There are some days when I'm in a super mood; real swell. Walking through campus like I own the place. High fiveing my classmates just because. Feeling pretty. Feeling accomplished. Feeling fulfilled and good about the future. 

But some days, I'm not in the mood to high five anyone. I don't feel good about the way I look. Some days I don't feel super optimistic about the future, and all I want to do is eat sugary cereal and try to remember to avoid the bathroom scale. Some days I get bummed and sort of hate stuff.

And when I do, I can't tell you how much it helps to find a friend who is also feeling a little bummed and sort of hating their own stuff. We laugh about how annoying bad drivers are. How much we hate exercising. How we secretly love things like pizza, ding dongs, and making fun of the bachelorette. How we wish we could just fly to paris, eat macaroons and never worry about finding a job or raising kids that don't end up nuts like us...

Like I said, I can't tell you how much it helps to find a part of me in a friend.

And I like to think that they're relieved to find themselves in me, too. 

So grateful that its friday, friends.

Lets enjoy the weekend, yes? 

another post about being weird.

Hi Friends. 

Remember this post?

Remember the magical skirt? 

Last week, my sister and I were in Texas, and she let me wear it for 10 whole minutes. 

I begged my mom to take a few shots so I could pretend that it really belonged to me, and reminice through photographs of what it would be like to own such loveliness. 

So much talent in that woman.

 

Until next time, skirt. 

That's all, friends. Just wanted to share.

summer checklist

1. Read some books.

(I'm only 1/2 way through Les Mis though; 

finishing it actually might take the entire rest of the summer...)

2. Take some photos.

3. Bake some delicious cookies. 

(Also, eat lots and lots of popsicles.) 

4. Watch Movies! 

(Summer cinema is the most fun, wouldn't you say!)

5. Go to the Beach! 

(We're planning a trip to California set for July. 

Here we come, Sea World!)

6. Begin the plans for a lovely trip next Summer. 

(Can't wait can't wait can't wait....)

7. Tackle that pesky linens closet.

8. Go to a wedding or two.

9. Shopping anyone? 

(more likely than not, it will be window shopping-- you know, the kind without money...)

10. Write in a journal. 

And a blog. 

And maybe some letters every few weeks.

#startingtoday

Wishing you all lovely summer planning as well,

about being weird...

This is going to be one of those posts, my bloggie buddies. The kind that are too long, too ramble-y, and too "what is this even about"-y. But its something that has been on my mind lately, and I'm trying to write again, right? Ok. You've been warned. 

Now I go to the skirt story.

Somewhere out there friends, there is a magical skirt, designed by a magical fashion genius (named Alexander Grecco), with a magically expensive price tag on it. My sister was fortunate enough to find a reasonably priced one in her size, and bought it. 

Goodness, I was elated for her. And yet so jealous of her! Tulle all over, poofy in all the right ways, and delicacy everywhere. Oh to have such a lovely skirt! 

Every day I would telephone Melody and ask her if she had worn her sweet skirt. And each day she'd reply with a guilty tone that "no," she hadn't, and "someday soon" she certainly planned to. After weeks of not wearing the skirt, I finally questioned her reasoning. "Why, why whyyyy would you not wear such a skirt, and at every opportunity that came? "

Her answers were simple: She was shy. She felt like it was too ostentatious to wear on a regular day. She thought people would think she was weird; like she was trying too hard. 

I thought about it, and understood immediately. There are several pieces of clothing in my closet that I adore, but I've yet to wear them in public. I have a sweet yellow polka dot dress, but haven't worn it, because I feel like it's too girly; and people will think that I aspire to be one of the VonTrapp Family Singers. I have a flowing top that I'm in love with, but have yet to wear it, because I'm worried people will think that I'm pretentious and trying to look like I spend all my time at stuffy modern art museums. I could go on- there are plenty of dresses, tops and more that I could wear, but choose not to. "Not yet, at least." As though I'm going to eventually mature into the clothing that I've chosen to purchase for myself. I'm sure if I owned the fabulous Grecco skirt, I'd be just as apprehensive to wear it as my sister is.

This got me to thinking about what I think about people who are different. And by different, I mean fearless. The people who wear whatever they want, even if it is waaayy out of the norm. They remind me of budding toddler fashionistas; completely un-concerned about what people are going to think of their selected outfit. Except they're adults.

Goodness, I love those people. 

Now, keep in mind I'm not necessarily talking about weirdness for the sake of weirdness (aka "indie" or "hipster"). There is something significantly less heroic about someone who is intentionally different because they've been swept up by a wave of popularity. If you don't know why you like something, you may want to investigate it a little more.

I'm talking about people who choose to express themselves in a unique way because they are actively embracing their individuality. Its as if they feel they have nothing to prove to others. Do you know the type friends?  I can think of a handful just on the top of my head. Fearless expressionists are the best. They are comfortable with themselves. Able to be passionate about what excites them. And is it just me, or have you noticed these people tend to be less judgmental of others' individual expression as well?

I know this seems like a lot that I got from my sister's tulle skirt. 

My point is, (if there is a point) that we need more people who are different. More people who are brave, and confident enough with themselves to wear things that may cause double takes every now and then. We need more whimsical. More quirky. More feminine. (I suppose those are just my particular favorites...)

If we choose to be brave in one department in our lives (even one as seemingly superficial as wardrobe selection), I believe it perhaps inspires us to be braver in other ways. More significant ways. Maybe, in a small way, what you choose to wear can change who you are for the better (or worse, of course).

Anyway, Melody finally wore the skirt. Got a million compliments from people she knew, as well as people she'd never met. In fact, Melody's photographer neighbor approached her and asked if she'd be willing to wear the skirt in an upcoming photo-shoot. Talk about a wave of confidence washing over her. Not only in the decision to wear the skirt, but in her taste, her specific, unique fashion instincts. Melody sent me a picture of her wearing the tulle skirt at DisneyWorld (with Mimi in a pink tulle dress next to her). I beg her for more pictures of her wearing it. Mimi asks her to wear it every day now. She tries to find reasons to wear it, rather than find excuses not to. 

Told you it was a magical skirt.

I'm thinking I'll wear my polka dot dress tomorrow. 

Maybe, rather than looking like a VonTrapp Family Singer, I'll just look like myself. 

Goodnight, sweet friends. 

Thanks for reading the skirt story.

back again.

Goodness it feels like its been a while. 

Because it has been a while, a good long while since I've sat down and really written about what's going on or what I've been thinking about. For any of you out there who have noticed and missed it, I'm sorry. 

For those of you who didn't notice or care, that's ok too. 

Before I begin my summer studies I've decided to fill my warm afternoons with literature, organization, and daydreaming. Maybe a blog post here or there while I'm at it. Remember when I used to be good at blogging, friends? Remember when I had time to write a few times a week? Those were the days. Now I don't even know how to begin a post without being coerced by some giveaway or "prize" that requires you to basically fill out a survey of questions.

But here we are. Me, trying awkwardly to write a post that basically says "hey guys, I'm going to start writing a little more than usual since its summer," and you- reading (probably with equal awkwardness) my post about my return to blogging. Winter blues seem to be fairly common for people, but I've found Summer blues like to sneak up on you as well, regardless on whether the sun is out or not. I feel like in a small way blogging helps. Anyone agree? Disagree? Anyone out there? (It's ok if you aren't.) I'll probably delete this post once I get back into writing again. In the mean time, consider this post just a warm up for summer writing.

Wishing you all a lovely day.

Leibster Award.

My sweet Mandy nominated the happy pear for the Leibster Award. What a tender mercy to hear from a friend during a gloomy time, and then to be inspired to write after a drought of inspiration. 

what IS a liebster award you may ask?
"The Liebster award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 or so followers. The meaning: Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome."

There are a few rules a nominee must follow to receive this award, which are:
1. each person must write 11 things about themselves that readers may not know.2. answer the 11 questions the tagger asked, and then ask the people YOU nominate and tag to answer 11 questions.3. choose 5 other blogs and link them in this post.4. go to their page and tell them.5. no tag backs!

11 FACTS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME

- I was born in puerto rico and spent the first months of my life taking naps on the beach under palm trees.
- I am left handed, and secretly love the cliche myth of how leftys are supposed to be extra creative.
- When I was a little girl, I had a blind rabbit named Snickers who bit me on the lip when I tried to affectionately kiss him. I've been terrified of rabbits ever since. It hurt!
- My dad taught me how to drive stick when I was 15, and since then thats all I drive. Automatic cars make me nervous. 
- I was a double major double minor in college. (Majors: Fine Art Photography & Advertising, Minors: Dance & Russian) I'm currently getting my MFA in Modern Dance from the University of Utah.
-If I could keep getting degrees I'd study Interior Design, Architecture, Theatre, Film, and I'd try to study more French and learn how to play the cello. Also, art. And I'd go to a cooking school somewhere in Europe. I guess I should've just said that I love to learn.
- Gideon and I shared our first kiss in the rain under an umbrella. I still get butterflies thinking about it.
- My favorite film is "Its a Wonderful Life".
- I created a mockumentary for a screendance class last semester and its gotten over 30,000 hits on youtube in three months! If it breaks 100,000 views by the end of the year, I'm going to treat myself to an ice cream cone or something of equal or greater awesomeness.
- When I can't fall asleep, I choreograph in my head. It does not help me sleep.
- Someday, when I grow up, I'm going to throw the most magnificent parties in my backyard. People will come from miles away to celebrate things like the first day of fall.

Mandy's Questions for Me:

1. Why did you start blogging?

Gideon and I had just gotten married, and I wanted a way to document our life together. I never thought I'd stick it out.

2. What's your favorite holiday?

Thanksgiving. I love the family, the food and the smell of Fall.

3. What Disney movie did you watch over and over as a kid?

To be honest, I was never crazy about one disney movie. I think I'd have to say Beauty and the Beast, though I was a bit disappointed when the beast turned into a prince at the end. 

4. What are the top 3 best days of your life?

-The Harold Green Invitational Gymnastics meet in 2003. Personal best all around score of 38.5-- I was so happy!

-My last day of Media Law in College. I hated that class.

-Any day I get to spend entirely with Gid. I know its cheesy, but there is nothing better than when I get him completely to myself. 

5. What was the last thing you did for yourself? (you time)

Yesterday I took a three hour nap in the middle of the afternoon. Does that count?

6. Is the glass half full or half empty? why?

This is a sort of silly question. The glass is only full if you fill it.

7. What do you love most about yourself?

I love that my imagination has room for whimsy, my mind has a firm grasp on reality, and my heart is unfailingly romantic. 

8. If you could vacation anywhere, where would it be?

I've had a strange itch for Austria lately.

9. Coolest thing you have done?

Perform onstage in Russia.

10. What's your favorite quote?

11. How do you picture your perfect day? 
Coming home from the hospital with a sweet husband and a healthy baby. (I told you I'm romantic.)


i nominate:
carrie from seeker of happiness 
rachel from the boyle blog
brittany from the kings
courtney from nate and court
hannah from hannah explains it all

my questions for these lovelies:
1. How do you define beauty, and who is the most beautiful person you know?
2. You've just unexpectedly inherited 10 Million dollars from a wealthy benefactor. How do you spend it?
3. Your biggest trial.
4. Most treasured item you possess.

5. Your most shameful guilty pleasure?

6. What are you looking forward to?

7. Proudest Achievement?

8. Worst day ever?

9. Your secret wish?

10. Most embarrassing moment?

11. Number one thing on your bucket list?

Thats it for me sweet friends. Have a lovely sabbath.

argh.

A story about a sweet little girl, friends:

 She was on her way to get her ears pierced. And so excited. Excited to wear all different kinds of earrings, excited to be grown up, and excited to show off her newly pierced ears to all of her friends. Once she got to the shoppe, the reality of the situation began to set in. Having needles go through her ears all of a sudden didn't seem so glamorous; it sounded like it would hurt. Nervous, but still determined to get the job done, she sat in the chair. The first pierce was horrible. It hurt, and she cried miserably. When she realized she was only half done with the procedure, she leapt out of the chair, and into her mother's arms begging to only have one ear pierced. Her mother, who hadn't been crazy about the idea of her little girl having her ears pierced in the first place, reminded her that this had been her idea, and she had to get the other ear done; or else she'd look like a pirate.

And with that, the little girl declared that she wanted to be a pirate.



I feel like that today, friends.

You know those days? The ones when you know what you should be doing, (homework, choreography, thesis research, etc.) but you've just lost the desire; at least for 24 hours? Somedays I feel like that. Except I'm already half done with grad school. I already got the first ear pierced. It would be silly if I didn't pull through and finish the other half.

...I guess we all just want to be pirates sometimes.


Now that I got that out, I'm going to finish my homework. 

mimi weekend.

Thanks to my sweet parents, I was able to run away to Indiana for the long weekend. 

Five days and four sleepless nights with my favorite (and only) 

sister Melody, and my favorite (and only) niece Naomi. 

She turned two, and I can't believe it, friends! 

Do you remember this photoshoot we had the day we brought her home from the hospital? 

Remember this party we had for her first birthday? 

It seems like only yesterday. I can't believe she's two.

I feel an extra close tie to mimi because I got to be with her right after she was born for a few days. Then, about five months later, we moved to Salt Lake (where their little family was located), and got to spend a year hanging out with mimi. She calls me Lala, and I dig it. My first nickname from a baby.

We read stories. 

We played hide and seek. We went shopping. We sang songs in french. We danced to mozart (her request). We went to the zoo. We rode escalators up and down a hundred times (and each time she'd holler and wave to the people behind us, "see ya later!") 

We had laughing contests. 

(She won that one.)

Favorite weekend I've had in a long long time.

Good luck this week, friends.

a valentines abroad

I love traveling. 

So so so much. 

I always find myself antsy to get away.

Even going for a road trip a few hours north south east or west. 

Bliss.

As a kid, my family would travel a lot during the summers especially. Some summers we'd go backpacking for a few weeks at a time. Others, we'd go to the beach and battle the waves. Everything was an adventure, and I loved every minute.


Since getting married, and especially starting graduate school, Gid and I have had to cut down our traveling budget down to holidays home. Which is fine; it's ok for us to be poor. We're going to look back on these years as some of the sweetest in our lives. I love that our apartment is made of cinderblock and eating out is a rarity.

But the adventurer in me has been stewing. She's antsy. She doesn't care about a masters degree. She wants to backpack around europe, or go bike riding in new zealand. She's tired of thesis research, sunday school and dusting the living room. And to be honest, she's starting to get a little cranky.

The other day I started expressing my feelings (a fancy way of saying whining) to gid about how badly I want to get away just for a day from salt lake. And then- the perfect idea for a valentines date hit me.

Friends, any of you heard of a staycation? 

I read about it on pinterest. All I had to do was basically make our tiny apartment (really just our bedroom) into a new place for just one night. I added a "night around the world" theme to our evening plans as well.

First we planned a nice dinner at the most wonderful indian restaurant ever. We pretended we were really in India. It was even stupid crazy busy that night, so we kept making comments to each other like, "wow- india is really busy tonight... and full of white people..."

After visiting India (which was beyond delicious). We took a quick trip to Germany and enjoyed some incredible chocolate treats made in Stuttgart.


Following europe, we came to a lovely bed and breakfast (also known as our apartment) which had been royally decorated for the occasion. Gid was stunned.

Preparing the room was by far the most complex part of this evening. I've simplified it to 5 steps:
Step 1: Get spare bedsheets, curtains and left over christmas twinkle lights. Make canopy on ceiling of bedroom with romantic twinkling lights. (Pretend the twinkle lights are stars.)
Step 2: Get vintage postcards/posters from around the world and tape them to the windows and walls.
Step 3: Rearrange the room a bit to make it look different. Change the bedspread.
Step 4: Make little sign on the bed that says "Welcome to your suite."
Step 5: Put gourmet chocolates on the pillows.

Oh friends, I really wish I'd thought to take pictures.
It was so magical to transform our tiny bedroom.

After revealing our honeymoon suite, I planned on us watching the french film Les Choriste, but to be honest, we were both too pooped to watch anything. This may or may not be a sign of us getting older. It was around 9:30 that we got in bed.

And there you have it, dear friends. A valentines abroad. 

Perhaps someday we'll actually get on a plane to go on an adventure. 

But I liked it this way too. 

Good luck this next week,

winter blues.

*As I write this I'm wearing four layers on my top half, three layers on my legs, two pairs of socks, and am wrapped in a blanket like a friggin eskimo.

__________________________________________

In college I had a roommate who would get incredibly depressed during the winter. She would go to tanning beds, eat lots of fruity treats, and even would watch movies that took place in the summertime to combat her sad feelings. This will sound terribly insensitive (because it is):  I thought it was super annoying. And that she just wanted attention. And that she was kind of really really dramatic.

I grew up in Texas, where weather below 90 degrees is welcomed graciously. I hated the long hot summers. I hated feeling chronically sweaty. I hated the hot wind, the dust and the sun in general. In fact, summer time texas weather made me grouchy in general. Especially when I had to be outside in it (which, in my family-- you were always outside).

I don't know why it never occurred to me that if long hot summers made me grouchy, long snowy and dark winters could make my roommate depressed. When I was in college the winters (even the long snowy idaho ones) were annoying at times, but certainly not a good reason to get weepy or sad.

Moving to today.

It's so cold. It's been cold for the past several weeks. There's a good foot or so of snow from last month that has turned into a block of ice where the usual grassy area in our front yard is. There are three days forecasted for more snow within the next week. I hate it. My feelings for this winter have transformed from an irritation to a full on loathing for the cold.
And I love winter accessories.

 A few days ago I found myself feeling blue, weepy, and totally unmotivated for the load I have ahead of me this semester. Unsure of where these feelings were coming from, I went to the closet to grab a(n extra) pair of socks, and a(n extra) blanket to bundle up in. I felt like watching something cheerful, cheesy and pathetic, so I looked for the bachelor on hulu.

And it hit me.

I was my roommate.

And immediately I felt a(nother) wave of regret for my insensitive attitude towards her seasonal depression. You know how when you judge people it always comes back to bite you? I hate that.


Wishing you all a warmer evening than my own,