i miss college. or, wait a minute- no i don't.

i've been looking at christmas cards, thinking about my best friends from college, and it's making me nostalgic.

one roommate and i face timed the other day, laughing about ex boyfriends, old roommates, and memories from when we lived together at university. the way she remembered things made me sound so confident and popular, like i had a date every weekend (which wasn't true, trust me. i remember one semester crying myself to sleep because i was convinced i'd never find anyone who would love me. it's nice to be remembered in rose colored lights.)

college was so fun for me. i was so involved, not only with the dance company, but with russian club, my roommates, and my neighbors. and my classmates! and my classmates' neighbors! it's crazy how we always managed to stay busy. we were always going somewhere. a play. a concert. the sand dunes. bonfires.

and when dating did happen, it was crazy fun. the anticipation after you'd been asked out- getting ready- (which meant brittany telling me to go change my outfit to something cuter like 6 times)- coming home, getting into pjs and giggling about the details of your evening with roommates over ice cream. dating was the shiz.

and as brit and i were reminiscing the other night, partly longing for those days to return, there was a bigger part of us that was so relieved that it was over.

i've decided that life gets harder but it also gets better.

i remember when i thought the hardest thing i'd ever do was pre-cal in high school. (math got worse in college.) or when i thought the worst semester i'd ever have was when i broke up with a boy and his roommate said mean things to me the next sunday in church in front of everyone. or when we were newlyweds with opposite schedules and wouldn't see each other until bedtime. or grad school. man, grad school was hard. or being sleep deprived with a newborn (...or a seven month old...)

i wonder what the next hard thing will be. i don't worry about school so much these days. i worry about teddy growing up to be a kind person who knows how to make smart choices. and i worry about not letting my identity get swept away by the whirlwind that is motherhood. that one keeps me up at night.

life gets harder. but it gets better.

the best times of my college life aren't as good as the worst parts of my mamma life right now.
i'd rather stay up all night with teddy than go on dates to jamba juice with a guy i met at the gym whose favorite pastime is watching "family guy". teddy is my date now. no, wait- gid is my date. teddy is the most adorable third wheel to our date. maybe someday we'll have an eighteen wheeler. joking. life in college was fun. life now is everything.

...but i'd be okay with having a sleepover once in a while with my old roommates and staying up talking about boys (and traveling, grad school, shopping, politics and horoscopes...etc).
i mean. if we had to. xo