lasts and firsts

i was 41 weeks plus a few days pregnant, and i'd tried all the old wives tales. we'd gone for a bumpy ride up the mountain. i drank that tea they say helps labor along. i was doing 300 squats a day and went on long walks. there's more, but you get the picture.

every time i'd do a load of laundry, or wash the dishes, or go run errands, i'd excitedly think to myself, "i wonder if this is the last time i'll do this thing before she comes." the last time i'll go to church with one child, or the last time i'll wash my hair before i have two kids. the last time i'll put fresh sheets on my bed. it was the most absurd, chore oriented countdown. in fact, the night before she came, after i finished singing teddy songs about trucks, cars, helicopters, and excavators, i had this gut feeling that this was the last time i'd lean over his bed, give him a kiss, and tell him that i thought he was wonderful before i had two kids. i ignored the feeling, (because i'd had it before around 38 weeks) but this time it was right. i woke up to contractions in the morning not realizing that i'd deliver her in a few short hours.



and now she's here. and i just keep catching myself thinking excitedly about all the firsts. my first time drinking a milkshake with two kids. my first time going out of the house by myself with two kids (it was less than a five minute trip to get a bag of sonic ice because i miss hospital ice right now). our first time reading bedtime stories-- with two kids! everything feels like i should take a picture. everything feels special. (except the miserable things-- my first post delivery poop {almost as scary as labor}, my first painful breastfeeding latch, my first time watching my toddler melt down because i can't give him exclusive attention the way i used to... etc.)


it probably sounds ridiculous to read (it feels a little ridiculous to write), but this is a crazy magical time for our little family. falling asleep and waking up to twinkle lights (the perfect soft light for middle of the night feedings). having friends and family checking in on me constantly with loving messages and presents. kissing my little boy to sleep, and then immediately cuddling my less than week old baby girl. watching my husband hold her and falling in love with him all over again. seeing her twitchy, newborn smiles. magic.

happy december, friends.

ps- i promise i'm going to announce her name soon- we've just had a really hard time nailing it down this time. xo