dear september,

I've missed you. The summertime is always sweet to me; I love the warm evenings and the sparkling fireworks. I love the smell-- a combination of sunblock, the ocean and coconut (is that just me or do you agree?). I love the food: the berries, the snow cones, and the light salads. Oh, and the hot dogs. I love hot dogs. Mmmm, and potato salad. And chips. I love the classic summer activities: the beach, the camping, the evening strolls, and the movies out on the lawn accompanied by popcorn, soda and licorice. 

Summer is great. 

This summer, however, wasn't the best one I've had. Actually, this summer was easily the worst one I've had in a long time. Too much on the schedule. Too much stress.Too little sleep. Too little time with family. I felt like a different person. Grouchier. Busier. More frustrated, and grayer (hair and otherwise). My relationships, both social and personal suffered. I lost motivation. Desire. Anything that took more energy than I already had to use.

Last week when the academic year started and I got back to the grind of graduate school, I actually felt like a major weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. The weight of summer. Summer. Isn't that supposed to be the most carefree part of the year? I'm so relieved its over (though the work load is still hovering dangerously over my head). 

And the smell. It smells like dew this morning. It smells like clouds coming over the ocean. It smells like change. Even though the leaves haven't darkened, and pumpkins don't line the doorsteps (yet). 

It smells like change. For the better I'm thinking. 

When I woke up this morning, September, I noticed your soft glow seeping out of my curtains, instead of summer's piercing obnoxious beams that used to force me to wake up like a military sergeant with a megaphone. 

There's a moistness about your air, like the clouds are trying to decide what's better: rain, or almost rain. (Touch decision for me too...) 

I've always liked you, september. You feel like new school supplies and scarves with leather boots (and wool socks). Gideon's birthday on the 13th, our anniversary on the 18th. You're a special month in our family. But this year, I feel an even more special pull to you. You released me from this year's summer.

Here comes hot cocoa and pumpkins,

(and thesis concert...)

the rest of the skirt story, or, why today didn't suck after all.

I think I know what you're thinking. 

You're thinking, "Move on, Alyssa. Move on." 

You're thinking, "We've heard enough about this magical skirt. 

We get it. You really really like it."

(sigh) 

You're right. 

This is my third blog post about this skirt.

 I can see how I might look super excessive.

But can I just tell you the part of the story I've been hiding from you? 

Can I tell you the dramatic details? Because believe it or not, 

this pesky skirt story has had a lot of ups and downs to it. 

And after today, I think I'm ready to share them with the rest of the world.

It is with great pleasure and honor that I present : 

THE SKIRT STORY

CHAPTER ONE 

My sister buys a lovely skirt. I drool over the pictures as I research all the different places you could potentially buy it. The cheapest one I find is over $200. I decide it'll be one of those garments that I dream of owning one day, but never would, because there's no friggin way I'm going to spend that kinda dough on a skirt. Even if its perfect. No friggin way. I convince myself that I probably wouldn't even like it on me anyway. 

CHAPTER TWO

I happen to be in my hometown at the same time my sister is visiting, and you guessed it: she brought THE skirt. I beg her to let me to try it on, and she allows it. I fall in mad, crazy love with the skirt. I feel like a princess, a ballerina, and audrey hepburn rolled into one entity. I continue to research retailers who might carry it where it might be cheaper. No dice. Still around or over $200. (sigh) I convince myself that, even though I adore it, I'd never have a place to wear it. A little part of my heart aches when I give the skirt back to my sister. 

CHAPTER THREE

Gideon surprises me by purchasing THE skirt for my birthday. Over the course of two minutes, I die a little bit. 

First I die of shock, because remember how it was crazy expensive? 

Then I die of fear. On the designer website that Gideon ordered from, they have a very clear policy of NO RETURNS. Talk about commitment right? I was terrified that Gid might have accidentally gotten the wrong size, color, or something else important. (FYI: He didn't. He's an impeccable secret shopper.) 

Then I die of shoppers remorse. I start asking myself if I really liked the skirt, or if I just felt entitled to any piece of clothing that my sister owned. I wonder where in the world I would wear the skirt, (remember how I wrote a whole post just about being brave with cool clothes? I'm such a hypocrite!) and start feeling guilty that my darling husband bought me a darling skirt that would never be worn. 

After my three stages of death, I finally just embrace the fact that I got an amazing skirt, and try to feel nothing but grateful. I give Gid the big thank you kiss he so rightfully deserves. 

CHAPTER FOUR

The. Very. Next. Day. We happen to be at downeast outfitters. You know how they've started selling anthro items that are out of season? Yeah. So we're at downeast, and I find THE EXACT SAME SKIRT, (same size, same color) for THIRTY DOLLARS. I die my three deaths all over again. Poor Gideon looked sick when he saw me and my discovery. 

CHAPTER FIVE

Gid sends an email to the New York designer, respectfully acknowledging the no return policy, and asks if there is any way, any possible way we can return the skirt we've ordered, explaining that we found another one through an anthropologie vendor. The designer takes a few days to respond, but surprisingly makes a gracious exception for us on one condition: the skirt needs to be returned within one week.

CHAPTER SIX

Immediately I take the skirt to the post office (it's Monday). I send it priority just to make sure it gets safely to NYC by Friday. They ask if I want insurance and a tracking number for an additional five dollars. Being a crazy cheapskate, I say "no thanks" and skip away, totally unaware of the major distress the decision will give me soon after.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Its Thursday. Gideon emails the designer, asking if the skirt has arrived. She replies that it hasn't. All day  Friday I'm flipping out, but there's nothing to be done, because smartie pants over here decided not to pay fiiiivvve bucks of insurance on a TWO HUNDRED DOLLAR delivery! 

I pray hard. Really really hard. "Please, please please let the skirt get to New York City today," I beg to the heavens. Friday comes and goes. The skirt doesn't arrive. Days go by. Then more days. Then a week. Big, fat tears stream from my eyes when I realize, not only that the skirt didn't arrive in time for us to get refunded, it's gotten lost in the mail. I mailed off two hundred dollars, and it got lost. It's probably sitting next to some vacated apartment, and will be thrown away. So I cry. Gideon holds me, runs his fingers through my hair, and says something along the lines of, "its ok. It's just a skirt." This only makes me cry harder.

CHAPTER EIGHT

This brings us to today. Can I just say, it's been a lousy day? I woke up early in the morning sick to my stomach (not preggo), and spent the better part of the morning in the bathroom crouched over the toilet. Not my cup of tea. I drag myself to class. The whole afternoon I'm clammy and have chills. I have a meeting that goes 30 minutes longer than it should, which makes me lose my break to grab a bite to eat.

I'm grouchy, tired, sick, and soo hungry. All I want to do is get my hands on a machete and go to town on everybody in sight. 

And then I check my email. Notice a message from Gid. The subject says, "Good News!" 

Turns out the package finally did arrive. 

And it turns out, the designer is making yet another gracious exception, and is refunding us our money.

Not a bad day, after all.  

THE END

ps- I think I'll send her a handwritten thank you card and have flowers delivered to her.
What do you think? Too much??

Phew! I'm glad I got that all out, friends! 

Thanks for listening.

a post about missing boise

I've been missing boise lately, friends. I miss everything about it. 

I miss the running on the greenbelt. 

And I never miss running. 

I miss the cute downtown that had a million darling shoppes and resturaunts that I’d explore on the weekends. I miss the people. My sweet friend paige who would make me laugh without the slightest effort. Darling libby who I adored and carefully observed so I may someday be just like her. My Courtney; THE sweetest, kindest, and most perfect girl you could imagine; the only pen pal I’ve ever been able to connect with for more than just a few letters. 

I miss the weather. Is it me, or does boise have phenomenal weather? 

Today I miss our lovely apartment with central air. 

I miss having a job that pays well that I enjoy.

I sooooo miss working for a chiropractor. Getting free treatment was pretty much the best thing ever.

Today I miss the greek café we lived right next to with the funny redhead. 

I miss the consignment stores in boise; they had the best consignment stores.

Now, Salt Lake is great. There are some great people here. I do have to say most of them have no idea how to drive and never should have been given a drivers license. 

I love the shopping; we have some darling boutiques and terrific malls like city creek. I love that the salt lake temple is the one in my district. Who would have thought when I was a kid that the picture of the castle would be the temple I’d attend regularly in graduate school? That’s sort of amazing, right? 

I like that I discovered a boba café that makes me any kind of boba drink I like. So that’s good. And I have to say, I love our ward. 

I’ve been blessed with great bishops in my life, but never have I had a bishop as rad as the one I currently have. Most loving. Least judgmental. Hilarious. Patient. Empathetic. Ever empathetic. I have some incredible friends in salt lake. Heidi, who makes me laugh so hard I have to put a huge effort into not allowing snot out my nose. Krista, who keeps me sane throughout grad school and provides me comic relief in the most desperate times. McKaye, who always always delivers when I call her for a random grocery item to borrow (tomatoes, onions, sugar, vinegar, ect.) We’ve been really lucky.

Like I said, Salt Lake is just great.

I’m just dying for boise today.

That's all. Thanks for listening.

a post about connections...

I love realizing that I have more in common with people than I thought. I love finding out that we enjoy the same (not so common) book, style, era, or favorite dessert. I love discovering that I share the same unique dreams with people. So fun to find out that someone shares my obscure taste in music! So funny to find out they share the same guilty pleasure that I enjoy.

So relieving to discover that we share the same frustrations. (Frustrations that I thought I was the only person in the world to experience, in the history of time, space and complete existence.) So validating to be reminded that we all have days when we're fighting a tough fight. Days when we're postponing going to bed specifically so we can avoid the inevitability of yet another day. 

Days when we watch crappy reality dating television shows so we can attempt to feel better about ourselves. ("At least I'm not desperate enough to be on this dumb show....that I watch every monday religiously... since that's not pathetic")

There are some days when I'm in a super mood; real swell. Walking through campus like I own the place. High fiveing my classmates just because. Feeling pretty. Feeling accomplished. Feeling fulfilled and good about the future. 

But some days, I'm not in the mood to high five anyone. I don't feel good about the way I look. Some days I don't feel super optimistic about the future, and all I want to do is eat sugary cereal and try to remember to avoid the bathroom scale. Some days I get bummed and sort of hate stuff.

And when I do, I can't tell you how much it helps to find a friend who is also feeling a little bummed and sort of hating their own stuff. We laugh about how annoying bad drivers are. How much we hate exercising. How we secretly love things like pizza, ding dongs, and making fun of the bachelorette. How we wish we could just fly to paris, eat macaroons and never worry about finding a job or raising kids that don't end up nuts like us...

Like I said, I can't tell you how much it helps to find a part of me in a friend.

And I like to think that they're relieved to find themselves in me, too. 

So grateful that its friday, friends.

Lets enjoy the weekend, yes? 

another post about being weird.

Hi Friends. 

Remember this post?

Remember the magical skirt? 

Last week, my sister and I were in Texas, and she let me wear it for 10 whole minutes. 

I begged my mom to take a few shots so I could pretend that it really belonged to me, and reminice through photographs of what it would be like to own such loveliness. 

So much talent in that woman.

 

Until next time, skirt. 

That's all, friends. Just wanted to share.

summer checklist

1. Read some books.

(I'm only 1/2 way through Les Mis though; 

finishing it actually might take the entire rest of the summer...)

2. Take some photos.

3. Bake some delicious cookies. 

(Also, eat lots and lots of popsicles.) 

4. Watch Movies! 

(Summer cinema is the most fun, wouldn't you say!)

5. Go to the Beach! 

(We're planning a trip to California set for July. 

Here we come, Sea World!)

6. Begin the plans for a lovely trip next Summer. 

(Can't wait can't wait can't wait....)

7. Tackle that pesky linens closet.

8. Go to a wedding or two.

9. Shopping anyone? 

(more likely than not, it will be window shopping-- you know, the kind without money...)

10. Write in a journal. 

And a blog. 

And maybe some letters every few weeks.

#startingtoday

Wishing you all lovely summer planning as well,

about being weird...

This is going to be one of those posts, my bloggie buddies. The kind that are too long, too ramble-y, and too "what is this even about"-y. But its something that has been on my mind lately, and I'm trying to write again, right? Ok. You've been warned. 

Now I go to the skirt story.

Somewhere out there friends, there is a magical skirt, designed by a magical fashion genius (named Alexander Grecco), with a magically expensive price tag on it. My sister was fortunate enough to find a reasonably priced one in her size, and bought it. 

Goodness, I was elated for her. And yet so jealous of her! Tulle all over, poofy in all the right ways, and delicacy everywhere. Oh to have such a lovely skirt! 

Every day I would telephone Melody and ask her if she had worn her sweet skirt. And each day she'd reply with a guilty tone that "no," she hadn't, and "someday soon" she certainly planned to. After weeks of not wearing the skirt, I finally questioned her reasoning. "Why, why whyyyy would you not wear such a skirt, and at every opportunity that came? "

Her answers were simple: She was shy. She felt like it was too ostentatious to wear on a regular day. She thought people would think she was weird; like she was trying too hard. 

I thought about it, and understood immediately. There are several pieces of clothing in my closet that I adore, but I've yet to wear them in public. I have a sweet yellow polka dot dress, but haven't worn it, because I feel like it's too girly; and people will think that I aspire to be one of the VonTrapp Family Singers. I have a flowing top that I'm in love with, but have yet to wear it, because I'm worried people will think that I'm pretentious and trying to look like I spend all my time at stuffy modern art museums. I could go on- there are plenty of dresses, tops and more that I could wear, but choose not to. "Not yet, at least." As though I'm going to eventually mature into the clothing that I've chosen to purchase for myself. I'm sure if I owned the fabulous Grecco skirt, I'd be just as apprehensive to wear it as my sister is.

This got me to thinking about what I think about people who are different. And by different, I mean fearless. The people who wear whatever they want, even if it is waaayy out of the norm. They remind me of budding toddler fashionistas; completely un-concerned about what people are going to think of their selected outfit. Except they're adults.

Goodness, I love those people. 

Now, keep in mind I'm not necessarily talking about weirdness for the sake of weirdness (aka "indie" or "hipster"). There is something significantly less heroic about someone who is intentionally different because they've been swept up by a wave of popularity. If you don't know why you like something, you may want to investigate it a little more.

I'm talking about people who choose to express themselves in a unique way because they are actively embracing their individuality. Its as if they feel they have nothing to prove to others. Do you know the type friends?  I can think of a handful just on the top of my head. Fearless expressionists are the best. They are comfortable with themselves. Able to be passionate about what excites them. And is it just me, or have you noticed these people tend to be less judgmental of others' individual expression as well?

I know this seems like a lot that I got from my sister's tulle skirt. 

My point is, (if there is a point) that we need more people who are different. More people who are brave, and confident enough with themselves to wear things that may cause double takes every now and then. We need more whimsical. More quirky. More feminine. (I suppose those are just my particular favorites...)

If we choose to be brave in one department in our lives (even one as seemingly superficial as wardrobe selection), I believe it perhaps inspires us to be braver in other ways. More significant ways. Maybe, in a small way, what you choose to wear can change who you are for the better (or worse, of course).

Anyway, Melody finally wore the skirt. Got a million compliments from people she knew, as well as people she'd never met. In fact, Melody's photographer neighbor approached her and asked if she'd be willing to wear the skirt in an upcoming photo-shoot. Talk about a wave of confidence washing over her. Not only in the decision to wear the skirt, but in her taste, her specific, unique fashion instincts. Melody sent me a picture of her wearing the tulle skirt at DisneyWorld (with Mimi in a pink tulle dress next to her). I beg her for more pictures of her wearing it. Mimi asks her to wear it every day now. She tries to find reasons to wear it, rather than find excuses not to. 

Told you it was a magical skirt.

I'm thinking I'll wear my polka dot dress tomorrow. 

Maybe, rather than looking like a VonTrapp Family Singer, I'll just look like myself. 

Goodnight, sweet friends. 

Thanks for reading the skirt story.

back again.

Goodness it feels like its been a while. 

Because it has been a while, a good long while since I've sat down and really written about what's going on or what I've been thinking about. For any of you out there who have noticed and missed it, I'm sorry. 

For those of you who didn't notice or care, that's ok too. 

Before I begin my summer studies I've decided to fill my warm afternoons with literature, organization, and daydreaming. Maybe a blog post here or there while I'm at it. Remember when I used to be good at blogging, friends? Remember when I had time to write a few times a week? Those were the days. Now I don't even know how to begin a post without being coerced by some giveaway or "prize" that requires you to basically fill out a survey of questions.

But here we are. Me, trying awkwardly to write a post that basically says "hey guys, I'm going to start writing a little more than usual since its summer," and you- reading (probably with equal awkwardness) my post about my return to blogging. Winter blues seem to be fairly common for people, but I've found Summer blues like to sneak up on you as well, regardless on whether the sun is out or not. I feel like in a small way blogging helps. Anyone agree? Disagree? Anyone out there? (It's ok if you aren't.) I'll probably delete this post once I get back into writing again. In the mean time, consider this post just a warm up for summer writing.

Wishing you all a lovely day.

Leibster Award.

My sweet Mandy nominated the happy pear for the Leibster Award. What a tender mercy to hear from a friend during a gloomy time, and then to be inspired to write after a drought of inspiration. 

what IS a liebster award you may ask?
"The Liebster award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 or so followers. The meaning: Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome."

There are a few rules a nominee must follow to receive this award, which are:
1. each person must write 11 things about themselves that readers may not know.2. answer the 11 questions the tagger asked, and then ask the people YOU nominate and tag to answer 11 questions.3. choose 5 other blogs and link them in this post.4. go to their page and tell them.5. no tag backs!

11 FACTS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME

- I was born in puerto rico and spent the first months of my life taking naps on the beach under palm trees.
- I am left handed, and secretly love the cliche myth of how leftys are supposed to be extra creative.
- When I was a little girl, I had a blind rabbit named Snickers who bit me on the lip when I tried to affectionately kiss him. I've been terrified of rabbits ever since. It hurt!
- My dad taught me how to drive stick when I was 15, and since then thats all I drive. Automatic cars make me nervous. 
- I was a double major double minor in college. (Majors: Fine Art Photography & Advertising, Minors: Dance & Russian) I'm currently getting my MFA in Modern Dance from the University of Utah.
-If I could keep getting degrees I'd study Interior Design, Architecture, Theatre, Film, and I'd try to study more French and learn how to play the cello. Also, art. And I'd go to a cooking school somewhere in Europe. I guess I should've just said that I love to learn.
- Gideon and I shared our first kiss in the rain under an umbrella. I still get butterflies thinking about it.
- My favorite film is "Its a Wonderful Life".
- I created a mockumentary for a screendance class last semester and its gotten over 30,000 hits on youtube in three months! If it breaks 100,000 views by the end of the year, I'm going to treat myself to an ice cream cone or something of equal or greater awesomeness.
- When I can't fall asleep, I choreograph in my head. It does not help me sleep.
- Someday, when I grow up, I'm going to throw the most magnificent parties in my backyard. People will come from miles away to celebrate things like the first day of fall.

Mandy's Questions for Me:

1. Why did you start blogging?

Gideon and I had just gotten married, and I wanted a way to document our life together. I never thought I'd stick it out.

2. What's your favorite holiday?

Thanksgiving. I love the family, the food and the smell of Fall.

3. What Disney movie did you watch over and over as a kid?

To be honest, I was never crazy about one disney movie. I think I'd have to say Beauty and the Beast, though I was a bit disappointed when the beast turned into a prince at the end. 

4. What are the top 3 best days of your life?

-The Harold Green Invitational Gymnastics meet in 2003. Personal best all around score of 38.5-- I was so happy!

-My last day of Media Law in College. I hated that class.

-Any day I get to spend entirely with Gid. I know its cheesy, but there is nothing better than when I get him completely to myself. 

5. What was the last thing you did for yourself? (you time)

Yesterday I took a three hour nap in the middle of the afternoon. Does that count?

6. Is the glass half full or half empty? why?

This is a sort of silly question. The glass is only full if you fill it.

7. What do you love most about yourself?

I love that my imagination has room for whimsy, my mind has a firm grasp on reality, and my heart is unfailingly romantic. 

8. If you could vacation anywhere, where would it be?

I've had a strange itch for Austria lately.

9. Coolest thing you have done?

Perform onstage in Russia.

10. What's your favorite quote?

11. How do you picture your perfect day? 
Coming home from the hospital with a sweet husband and a healthy baby. (I told you I'm romantic.)


i nominate:
carrie from seeker of happiness 
rachel from the boyle blog
brittany from the kings
courtney from nate and court
hannah from hannah explains it all

my questions for these lovelies:
1. How do you define beauty, and who is the most beautiful person you know?
2. You've just unexpectedly inherited 10 Million dollars from a wealthy benefactor. How do you spend it?
3. Your biggest trial.
4. Most treasured item you possess.

5. Your most shameful guilty pleasure?

6. What are you looking forward to?

7. Proudest Achievement?

8. Worst day ever?

9. Your secret wish?

10. Most embarrassing moment?

11. Number one thing on your bucket list?

Thats it for me sweet friends. Have a lovely sabbath.